Today, I went to the sandcastle contest at my local beach. While waiting in line for a hotdog, a man cut in front of me and demanded a cup of water. I called him a jackass, saying how people like him give us a bad reputation at the beach. I then saw him running to his choking daughter. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was trying to relax on the beach after a stressful day, just to overhear a bunch of kids near me start fighting over who pooped in the hole they'd dug in the sand. FML
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
Today, at the beach, my son was screaming and crying because the sand was burning his feet. I told him to put on his sandals. He got mad and threw them in the ocean, then started crying harder when he realized they were gone. He's now hiding under the bed in the condo and is refusing to come out. FML
Today, I went to the beach with friends. While splashing around in the ocean and waving to my friends who were sitting on the sand, I got caught in a strong current and had to be rescued by a lifeguard. They gave me a wristband that said, "Needs Adult Supervision". FML
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Today, I took my kids to the beach. My autistic son decided it was a good idea to pretend he was drowning. I tried to tell onlookers he was fine and not to worry. My son popped out of the water and laughed hysterically at them. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I got stung by jellyfish. As I was writhing in pain on the beach, my dad comes up and asks me to be quiet and that I'm embarrassing him. FML
Today, while at work, I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending two hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML
Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML
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Top comments
Adamantoise 0
It's not your fault. He should of said "My daughter's choking!" or something. I would call the guy a jackass if he just cut in front of me.
omfgglol 0
This is F the daughter's life. Today I was at the beach eating a hot dog and I started choking. My father panicked. He ran away, and I assumed that he was going to find someone to help. He comes back with a cup filled with water. I died of asphyxiation. FML.
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Comments (131)
aashliey 0
He is a jackass, how is his daughter going to get water down when her airway is blocked. Mr. Jackass should have ran for a lifeguard.
meatchainer 10
Okay, so, his daughter is choking, meaning there is something lodged in her windpipe, so she's going to drink water, which will go down her esophagus...problem?
glamourgigi2741 0
Be careful what you say and don't jump to conclusions in just saying
annwriter 0
Dont be so quick to judge! You don't know the story till you read the book. YDI
lzmo 20
I can't see how you didn't deserve that.
megamimi 4
That is why you shouldn't jump to conclusions
bungholemcgee 11
I bet when your boyfriend isn't home, you automatically think he's cheating on you.
megt_fml 6
Are you from Frankston, Australia??
CrystaltheFail 2
What a stupid guy, you NEVER GIVE A CHOKING PERSON MORE STUFF TO CHOKE ON! On a side note, you do deserve it for assuming something. F the daughter's life.
fantasyworld 39
If you can still make noises with your mouth, drinking is fine.