Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the woman who I punched in the face after I caught her on my porch snooping through my mail is pressing charges. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML
Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML
Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
Today, I tried to win back my ex by fighting her current boyfriend. He kicked my ass. Now I have a broken jaw and a court date. FML
Today, my boyfriend got arrested. For robbing my house. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML
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Top comments
fuckyou1337 0
That's gonna get thrown out of court rather quickly. Also, sue him bactoor the emotional trauma you suffered of walking in on a robbery :P
SaintJimmy 0
Nobody said our justice system was perfect, but it still sucks super bad for you.
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Comments (131)
Kondustra 8
YDI for not shooting the sonuvabitch in the ******* face. dead men tell no tales my friend
ihate10mtn 0
that is why i carry a firearm. shoot him then plant a knife. it works every time.
n42nate 0
Where I am if you would have killed him all you would need is evidence of a threat
Darkon 0
replies are messing up.
Lamata 0
One more reason why it sucks to live in the United States of America.
Kondustra 8
correction: this only happens to people who arent staunch supporters of the second amendment. i myself and my family all have concealed carry licenses and i NEVER go anywhere with out my .45 if some1 had broke into my home and id caught them the last thing they wouldve seen would be a muzzle flash and me grinning
JADEstokesxo 0
hahah; your nickname... and sucks. what a bitchh!
lovemyfml 0
The law is that if you had acted in a way that a reasonable person would act. If he had a weapon, things would be different, but you didn't know and he didn't assault you first soo...sorry, bad luck.
SheriffBart 0
You have a strange notion of what a reasonable person would do in that situation, and a strange notion of the reasonable man test in general.
lostfaithinpppl 19
OP, fight this case to the end. Good luck to you
No_fyl_cuz_ydi 0
number 17 either doesn't live in America or he's living under a rock
BryonyBabs 0
Pssh I would have knocked his lights out if i'd been you. That really sucks =/