Today, my roommate went away for the weekend so she could hook up with a guy from Tinder that she's never met. This wouldn't be a problem if we hadn't already made plans for my 18th birthday, which is also today. Here's to a night of Netflix with my dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's both my 28th birthday and New Year’s Eve. Even though it's a Friday, tonight’s big plans are frozen pizza and going to bed early. I live with my parents and even they are going out tonight, leaving me to watch the dog. Happy Birthday, loser! FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. My roommate insisted her friend join us. They both got belligerently drunk while I was pretty sober. We ended the night at 12am with her friend violently sobbing at the bar over her boyfriend, while I played Subway Surfers. Yay. FML
Today, for my birthday, I got a hotel room for me and my boyfriend. He decided that spending time with a female friend was more important than spending time with me. FML
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML
Today, my dick of a roommate was moving out. She didn't actually tell us she was moving out and took the wifi, modem and all, while my other roommate was on a Skype call and I was watching a show. All with no warning. It's Saturday, I have an online assignment due Sunday. FML
Today, I was supposed to be studying for an important exam. My parents decided to make me go to a surprise birthday party instead. We weren't allowed to leave until the party was over. The party was for the dog. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML
Today, I'm single. Last night, I decided it would be silly to leave my phone in my car before I went to my roommate's brother's birthday party. Highlights of the evening include: Beer Pong, a keg stand, and breaking up with my girlfriend via text message. I don't remember the last one. She does. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Frabens 1
That's sucks, at least you have your dog and you're not 100% lonely.
RichardPencil 32
She'll probably bring home an STD...so, there's that. Cheers!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (32)
sarcasmismyno1 22
I can guarantee you that your dog will appreciate the time with you much more than your shitty friend would have. Also, full control of the remote and Netflix? Hello guilty pleasure binge! Add your item of choice (ice cream, birthday cake, etc) to make it festive and enjoy yourself. Not a half bad birthday imho.
CGPainting 0
That's ratchet. Well, now you know her character and priorities, I suppose.
mintymandy 11
The dog is probably much better company anyway :) happy birthday!
ALonelyStranger 12
Atleast you have a pet. I have nobody
mariri9206 32
Says the person whose profile pic is a cat (and I'm guessing it's yours.) lol
Miss_080 21
Better to be with your dog than your ***** friend
DumpsterKidd 3
Look on the bright side, you have hundreds of awesome movies to choose from while she probably has random diseases to get rid of.
PikarooArtist 17
Dogs are better company then people anyway, they don't bail on you for someone else.
cootiequeen4444 11
You've never met my dog. He's like "HOLY SHIT SOMEONE NEW GOTTA STALK THEM THE WHOLE TIME THEY ARE HERE!" His favourite people besides strangers (and kids. he LOVES kids) are also his frequent pet sitter/our house sitter too and a family friend who is the literal dog whisperer..as in he can reach a talk in a pitch/way that makes dogs super excited. On the contrary, it makes humans want ear plugs.. so yeah... I love my dog more than anything but me and my family are more like security blankets which he likes to know are home as he gets lonely easily.. but when it comes to following people and terribly wanting people's attention.. totally not us. dog would ditch us in a heartbeat. haha.
PikarooArtist 17
Not all dogs are like that, a lot of dogs are very loyal to their owners and will just cuddle up to them to make you feel better.
lilchica22001 22
That sounds like a good night to me. Put some comfy pajamas on, get a whole bunch of your favorite junk food and watch a couple feel good movies. Happy Birthday OP!!