Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML
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Top comments
PsychoMerk 0
what.the.****?
InsidiousChild 0
no, no u's havn't.
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Comments (249)
ebmellow 0
I say there are plenty more fish in the sea! and just in case you decide to stay with him, do the same thing to him when he throws up.
slowlybreakingme 14
regardless of how much you drank, that's still an ass move!
b00z3nw33d 0
els oh els
Punkpoptart1119 20
When you feel better, give him a giant kick to the nuts. And then the next time he's sick, push his head into the toilet like he did yours. When he gets all mad and stuff, be like "Well..I just wanted to let you see the fun I had when you did it to me.." Karma.
garfield224 0
Better make that ex-fianca
PrimeStarscream 30
Well that sucks. You kind of deserve it for getting that drunk.
radiocaf 29
don't marry him and run out at the ceremony screaming "that'll teach ya!"
SirWTF 10
Hehe, I don't know what made the guy do that to the OP .. she probably flirted with a ton of guys in her drunken state and her fiancé got jealous. Seriously, tone down the drinking a bit. It's all fun and games until your liver fails.
Idontbelievethis 1
People aren't supposed to behave that way when they care for each other, I dont care what these assholes who think it's funny say. That shit hurts. Also, inexcusable or not, if he did it because this is a frequent problem for you, consider help. Please.
rubberduckie94 13
at least the cool water in the toliet mivht havd helped your nausea a little bit.