Today, I came home to the vilest stench I've ever smelled. I had to open a floor vent and scoop up the turd that was inside. Funnily enough, today was the day my scumbag roommate moved out, but I'm sure he had absolutely nothing to do with it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I had the place to myself for a while and it was easy to clean, my roommate returned and I woke up to trash piling up, dishes everywhere, and luggage full of sweaty laundry. Oh, and it smells like poo again, because he doesn't regularly shower. I want to scream. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML
Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML
Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML
Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML
Today, I cleaned my entire apartment hoping to find the source of the terrible odor I've been smelling for the past week. It's me. FML
Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML
Today, I came home to a terrible smell in the apartment. Three hours, and a scoured kitchen later, I took the trash out. The smell was not my apartment, but from just across the alley; a neighbor had moved and emptied their fridge. Six more days of sunned milk until pickup. FML
Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML
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Top comments
fhksuaifk 16
If he left a new address leave it on his step + a gift of your own
crudeandrudeguy 29
Although horrible at least you found it right away. You could be playing find that smell for the next month
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Comments (19)
NeatNit 33
Here's what you do: find out where he lives. Study his weekly schedule, and find a time where he's out of the house for a few hours. Sneak into his house, and then... Bake him a pie! When he gets back home he will see the pie and, being the douchebag that he is, assume it's from a secret admirer. He will eat the pie. But then, immediately after taking the first bite, he will realise his grave mistake... Because the pie will have RAISINS in it! then chuck a turd at his face
manofmerr 27
I dont know who thumbed you down, but i fixed it. And that comment made me cackle maniacally.
sylvienoir 18
someone who likes raisins probably
wondermoose 28
Burn it in a bag on his new door step.
SaltLord 10
Is nobody going to talk about the name of this post? Lmao..
chosha_fml 27
FYL with that shitty roommate, but hello to a much better life without him.
moodyreallyrocks 27
Just be glad that he's gone OP!! Good bye and good riddance..
trucker2 33
Box that shit up.... And deliver it to his work place...
Pandacupcakelove 26
As a person who has had an asshole roommate, I feel you. At least the scumbag is gone.
justamoderator 11
Send him a text message saying:''The place stills smells of you..''
TomeDr 25
Dude, change the locks!!