Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag containing her Tax Materials. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up with a hangover from hell. My clothes were stained with vomit, I was propped up on the sofa with a bowl between my knees, and my hair tied to one side. My mum was taking photos to send to Grandma. FML
Today, I woke up to my drunk mom trying to pee in the dresser drawer of our hotel, with my clothes in it. I woke up right in time to yell at her. Pants down and all. She started denying there were even clothes in there. FML
Today, I drank cocktails and shots. On the way home, I had to pee so bad that I only got to the front door and peed all over our carpet. My mom saw the whole thing and my dad saw the aftermath with the super drenched carpet and shoes. My mom had to mop the floor after I ran to the bathroom. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML
Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML
Today, I was taking a taxi home after drinking too much. I started to feel sick and, not wanting to be charged the cab cleaning fee, threw up into my handbag instead. When we got to my place I then had to fish through my bag for my wallet to pay the driver. FML
Today, my mom came home, shitfaced drunk. She thought I was my dad and gave me a forceful kiss, with a lot of tongue. She then pulled away, stared at me, screamed in horror, and spewed all over me. I puked too. FML
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Top comments
castnerinho 0
damn. still. your mom needs to find a better place to put her tax stuff. In a "bag of trash"? not sure bout that lol
may_cause_fail 0
Good luck crashing on mom's couch next time you get drunk. :D
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Comments (89)
kirbyviper93 0
I'm gonna have to go with a F**k Her Life on this one.
kacee_nicole 0
Its more like FHL.
asilex 0
hahaa I can see your mom taking out all the papers and drying them trying to get all the puke off :O **** that sucks ass!
Bucinka 5
FHL for leaving the taxes until the last minute. I bet she won't procrastinate again.
wriptidez 0
just tell her taxes make you puke
beckyxD 13
Haha I love how this is written
FweakofCydonia 40
I wonder if OP will give us the follow up story.
dangermouse2990 19
Well you must be a joy to have around the house.
sisoladra 20
That's 1 tax return I'd gladly give to the government