Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for sneezing too many times during Game of Thrones. FML
Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
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Top comments
chosha_fml 27
You think it's funny you mistreat your boyfriend over nothing? That's screwed up.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
feel bad for your bf.
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Comments (111)
Scarylizard1798 23
Thanks Obama...or p.m.s. Whatever makes u happier
sugarmonster42 7
Because you sneezed.... I have misophonia and I still wouldn't do that.
PurelyCanadian 18
Bad day or not, that's no excuse to be an asshole. Judging by the sounds of her, it's not your loss.
cyborg6541 6
Have her pee on a stick.
8born8 18
And what would that solve? Nothing! That's what. Hormones, PMS, shit day... These are the types of bullshit excuses that a person who lacks the coping skills to deal with stress uses when they lash out at someone. Abuse comes in many forms and it sounds to me like she's a thorn in your side. No one deserves to cop what you did. For sneezing of all things! Heaven help you if you farted!! If she's gone, let her stay gone. Good luck OP & look after yourself.
joeyl2008 29
It's because you head butted her in the nose! jerk
cathrope 10
I have a feeling that she left you. But if she's going to act like that, I say move on, and if she does call back, tell her that the two of you are over.
KatyLarae 13
Just give her a little time, then ask if something upset her earlier that day. She probably just needs some space.
rissburns 9
Dump the ****
Scynistr 20
Wow.. That is really nothing to sneeze at...
artistswife 19
Looks like she wants to breakup and is using this to do so.