Today, my allergies flared up and I started sneezing. I guess my girlfriend was having a bad day, because she lost her shit and started telling me how annoying I am and how I can never do anything right. I'm not sure if we're still a couple, because she stormed out and won't answer my calls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML
Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
Today, while having fun between the sheets with my boyfriend, his allergies got the best of him and his nose started running. Every time he kissed me he'd drip snot onto my face. When I complained, he said I was being insensitive. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for sneezing too many times during Game of Thrones. FML
Today, I sneezed and shit myself in bed. It was the first time I'd ever slept at my girlfriend's house, and probably the last as well. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
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Top comments
chosha_fml 27
You think it's funny you mistreat your boyfriend over nothing? That's screwed up.
BeepBeepSwerve 9
feel bad for your bf.
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Comments (111)
blackonblight 33
Anyone else getting a Cellblock Tango vibe here? Only instead of "pop!" It's "achoo!"
Gunnarsson 3
she sounds like a crazy ****! i'd say you're better off without her bud, you don't need somebody saying something that hurtful over a sneeze.
Sudden_flame57 5
period?
culito_fml 10
I think this goes deeper than that
MrSweeps 5
If she's reached a point where shit like that will cause this then the breakup is probably near and been coming for a while. Brace for impact bro. :/
TheGuy9504 3
Maybe she is on her period, leave her alone for a few days and call back then, unless that is how she always is in which case disregard this advice and try to get a better attitude for her