Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, my phone kept beeping, so I put it on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I found the guy I went on a date with last night had sent dozens of messages. The first was "Good morning! :)" and the last was "Answer me u fuckin cunt!!!!" I think I'm staying single. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
Today, I woke up to find my girlfriend not sleeping next to me. I go to my car and found a plethora of printed screenshots of me commenting things like, “So hot babe”, “Beautiful! I’d tap that” and other compliments on my female friends’ pictures on Facebook. My girlfriend’s not picking up her phone. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
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Top comments
thebomb553 5
Reply back "Goodbye!"
lickastick 27
Please... tell me more...
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Comments (189)
katie1474 4
run dude
nurchok 15
How could you? (slap your wrist)
b_free_8 9
I saw that and thought that's something my ex would do. Then I saw the title says "jake".. Her boyfriends name is jake...
RabidBeaver73 6
Freakin run dude!
brudelmomma13 1
Run. Seriously.
friedbunnies 9
It's gonna be a fantastic day because its your first day as a freshly single man.
Redvelvet16 11
I get upset when my hubby doesn't text me a morning text but that's only if he doesn't do it at least once a week. I can thoroughly blame being preggo tho. I'd tell her to chill, and start being trusting (unless you did something to lose it) get her a flower to show you do think of her, but sleep is more valuable sometime! Silly girls, men are for women.
Elfkid21 19
time to dump the psycho and get a decent girl, pal.
eyunayev 6
Damn. Turn around and run
liaRawr 9
Wtf was she sitting up watching her phone all night? Get a grip girl! You too boy otherwise she'll be like that forever