meganmagee
Barnesville, United States
Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML
Top comments
slooby_fml 25
That is adorable. It sucks...but it's adorable
MsConfusedd 27
"What's for dinner mommy?" *holds up knife and smiles* "Mr. Shelly."
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Comments (203)
dmmrekcd 10
Best pet ever!
horne2 9
Guess who's not eating dinner tonight!
aaronh212 6
Get her a new pet that you don't have to eat, duh!
CallMeMcFeelii 14
There's no such thing as a pet you don't eat, 39. I remember my neighbors cat named George, he made the tastiest catlet mignon. It was a hassle getting all his cat hair out, but I'll be damned if it wasn't the best meal I had. If anyone needs recipes for German Shepherds, you now know who to ask!
Welshite 40
You got anything for French poodle?
tiernang 21
french poodle... i have a great recipe for french poodle spaghetti!
gohaku 4
Thanks 43 I laughed so hard I almost fell down
JaegerMayCry 13
If I remember correctly my first pet was a rock that I thought was a turtle. I remember freaking out when my parents found it and tossed it out my second story rooms window. I was not a bright child.
Gingerette 8
The best kind of pet is the kind you can eat.
NoFlippinWai 24
81&43- Thank you. You made my day.
LowExpectations 30
Salt water aquariums are not cheap, sorry OP.
Powerfull_fml 8
Even better, lobsters do not age, if she takes good care of it, it will be with her for life!
hashshim 23
102: This might sound stupid, but why not but an ordinary aquarium and just add salt to the water? I'm sorry, I really don't know anything about aquariums, at all.
green2go 14
Its not the Aquarium that is the expensive part it's the filtration system for it.
AKGirlinSD 20
81, there's no shame in having a pet rock :-). Kids these days are so demanding and take for granted the amount of entertainment we didn't grow up with. You had a pet rock until your parents murdered it. How rude (JK)!
slooby_fml 25
That is adorable. It sucks...but it's adorable
JennaNGood 21
Well he can't cook it now without being a total douche... So it looks like back to the store he goes to get one of "Mr.Shelly's" kinsmen.
Roskie 16
Getting another lobster and eating that one probably wouldn't go over much better.
JennaNGood 21
Maybe daddy-o would think this time and keep it out of reach of his 4 year old child
Roskie 16
Yeah, but if this was a family dinner, I think the kid would notice the similarities.
areakiller525 9
You got me another pet you are the best mom ever!!
JennaNGood 21
Still a better option then cooking the one who is now a pet. My grandpa once served my mums and her siblings what used to be my mums pet chickens (she had three she's raised since they hatched) let's just say that she STILL hasn't forgot about it.
jesustitts 20
Pretty sure OP is a woman, @90
JennaNGood 21
Yeah I noticed that after my second comment but didn't say anything because NOBODY CARES
Hunthas 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get her to kill it when it's time For her to become a man. Worked for me!
Welshite 40
But..you have no gender.
NeatNit 33
why's your picture too small to read? it totally defeats the purpose...
Marcelb 17
@NeatNit Common teenage dilemma's Does Billy like me back? How do I keep up with my studies? Where should I go to college? Which seat can I take? You're welcome.
MortenM 17
#59 now I'm curious about your picture
UnoriGal 17
Aaaaand that's when this thread gets creepy.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
59- I am also curious about your picture.
ImAFaker 29
Says the guy with the creepy pic 0_0
gc327072 31
I'm curious what MAKES you so curious
denver_ImC 8
Now you have to keep it unless you want to break your girls little heart
picturescrazy 24
She doesn't need to be coddled. The mother should just explain to her that people eat lobsters.
gracehi 33
I dunno. I think it would be better to just let her keep the lobster if it makes her happy. It seems exceedingly mean to not only take away a pet from a young child, but also eat it. I can't imagine how horrified and upset I'd feel if I had, say, a new pet rabbit or duck and my dad then cooked it for dinner. And I'm an adult. I can't imagine how upsetting that would be for a child.
meganmagee 11
don't worry. Mr. Shelly has taken residence my daughter's kiddie pool.
Corrupt_waffles 13
Yeah it's pretty awful when your fuckhead of a father gets you a pet rabbit for your birthday after not remembering it for 3 years, then making the bunny into a soup for him and his buddies, and giving his child the rabbit skin laughing just so he can spite your mother because she did something to upset him. My point is don't traumatize the kid. I say to OP just let the kid have the pet and eat something else and make her take care of it properly. It will teach her responsibility and it won't make you look like a huge asshole.
r_bruce69 19
It is adorable, true. But aren't lobsters expensive to eat and to keep as pets? Also, it's going to be hard to have lobster in the future now isn't it!
gracehi 33
Holy shit, 34! I hope you made up that story!
gracehi 33
32, Glad to hear it! :) You're a good mom.
Raesin 21
Which now means if you genuinely intend you keep it, you'll need to find out what breed of lobster it is and buy a large aquarium and suit it to the lobster. Also do you have any idea how long they live for or how big they get? Unless you're just biding your time until the novelty wears off and she forgets about it, that's possibly the worst decision you could have made. You could've just told her that it was for eating and cooked it anyway. Kids need things explained to them, not giving them everything just because they assume it is so. Besides, isn't this a plot from the Simpsons? I'm going to guess it's fake.
lightburns 10
That is adorable.
ksks1234 33
The Simpson's taught me a lobster can live in a tub (but not too hot) but in real life, wouldn't the lobster have to live in a saltwater tank?
Old_Iron_Sides 6
I hear that lobsters like cat food.
jasmine2301 25
98, Where'd you hear that?
horneyhic 15
I hope that's salt water if not it will kill it
Spider_Web 11
Wikipedia - it's always right
loveingit 7
So how will you keep a salt water animal alive in a kiddie pool? This sounds like a nice plan but for the fact you should do planning into a pet. Sounds like the lobster will die. You will not be able to eat it. And the daughter will loss the "pet" Try explaining to the kid it was dinner and it is cruel to make it live without the conditions. Maybe get a real pet with planing and not the slow death of a lobster.
frizz101 22
It depends on if OP got a salt or fresh water lobster, also there are lobsters that live near estuarys, so they can live in salt or fresh water. And since lobsters are bottom feeders they can pretty much eat anything.
bleedingglitter 24
Aww aren't you sweet.
thatonetribute 31
Hahaha, oh my gosh. You sound so bitter.
imabassist 23
Aww you gotta admit that's sweet of her!
MsConfusedd 27
"What's for dinner mommy?" *holds up knife and smiles* "Mr. Shelly."
kaitlynjane 28
Cue dramatic music and maniacal laughter in the background.
LowExpectations 30
Mwahahahaha, I like the way you think #6 & #16!
RedPillSucks 33
And thus, a future vegetarian is born.
kaitlynjane 28
Why thank you, #103! :) Dark humor has always been more interesting to me than anything else.. XD
More_Leg 14
Wait until she takes the rubber bands off his claws. They won't be friends for long....
aljop 15
Hey look on the bright side, you made your 4 year old thrilled!
jillytc 23
how do you take care of a pet lobster?
gracehi 33
"Hey, honey, Mr. Shelley is dirty. Let's give him a bath. No no, the bath tub is far too big. He'll fit much better in this pot of boiling water on the stove."
fuckyourlifeOP 25
as much as a laughed at this comment, i realized how cruel it actually is to boil a poor little lobster alive. :(
LowExpectations 30
It's not cruel at all #110, it kills lobsters instantly.
horneyhic 15
Not quite instantly but they do it because lobster is toxic if it dies any other way
monnanon 14
crabs and lobsters are usually stunned before boiling. i think you freeze them and that is supposed to be the most humane way. still not very humane though.
kmccain 27
I thought you were supposed to sever the spinal cord with a knife.
monnanon 14
they have an exoskeleton. i dont think they have a spinal chord. plus that would hurt like a bitch and be worse than throwing them on boiling water.
bfsd42 20
It's a lobster. It's food. It gets killed and eaten.
DocBastard 40
Mr. Shelly is a great pet! Great with drawn butter.
j_cat187 20
There is plenty of room for all of God's creatures... right next to the mashed potatoes!