Today, my girlfriend's "sheltered" 15-year-old niece is sharing our tiny home. Shortly after she arrived, I started to pass a kidney stone. I've had 3 hours of vomiting and cold-sweating while pissing acidic blood and a stone in absolute agony. The niece is "traumatized". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife got her second kidney stone in a month. I gave her some pills to help with the pain. An hour later she started hallucinating, pulled down her pants and tried to pee on our couch. FML
Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML
Today, after I'd given myself a week off work for my birthday, and my alcoholic sister decided she needed to go to rehab, which then hijacked the whole week for her crisis, at 4:30 am, the morning I'm supposed to return to work, I end up in the ER with a first time kidney stone. The next thing I know, she's in the ER for an injury. FML
Today, I was happily messing around with my girlfriend's toddler niece. I suddenly sneezed, coughing out a tonsil stone as big as a raisin. Before I could even react, she horrifyingly said, "Oh no! Your brains came out!" My girlfriend started to laugh, saying, "That's just about right!" FML
Today, I had the pleasure of having a kidney stones removal procedure where they hammer your kidneys to break up the stones. Afterwards, the doctor called my wife over the intercom to come to back to the waiting room. She freaks out, runs back, and the doctor says, “I just wanted to show this stone. Cool huh?" FML
Today, I passed my kidney stone. After thirteen hours of pain free joy, another one appeared. FML
Today, I was passing a kidney stone. I had to go to the ER but had no one to take me, so I drove myself. They made me wait 3 hours because it was suspicious that someone in "so much pain" could drive. It was the largest stone that doctor had seen in his career. FML
Today, I passed a kidney stone. This is the third one in two years. I'm only 23. FML
Today, I was at my doctor's office. I thought I had a kidney stone. Turns out I'm pregnant and I have a kidney stone. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with a kidney infection; the symptoms include nausea and having to pee every five minutes. I had to walk six miles in the pouring rain to pick up the medication, peed in the woods twice, got honked at while throwing up on the road, and my boyfriend told me not to complain. FML
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Top comments
NewUsername 26
Aw, poor thing. I've passed a kidney stone while I've had a kidney infection. It hurts like hell. Sorry man. I hope it passes quickly :(
Soninuva 41
I'm questioning whether or not you do, since you're most likely referencing his questionable use of quotation marks, rather than question marks.
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Comments (44)
RedPillSucks 33
maybe this will provide incentive for her to move her traumatized ass out
TaoShaman 24
She's 15! As in a minor. I highly doubt she just moved in uninvited.
Talented73 54
A couple of tablespoons virgin olive oil or coconut oil, combined with equal amount of lemon juice or cider vinegar, 2 or 3x daily. There is also an herb called chaca piedra, or "stone breaker", the tea of which may be drunk a couple of times daily. You can use this herb to ward off further attacks.