Today, I had to sneak a ladder into a cemetery at midnight because my husband got drunk with his buddies, decided to visit his mother's grave, and in the dark he fell into a fresh grave and couldn’t climb out. Not many women can say they’ve seen their husbands climb out of the grave I suppose. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the cemetery to visit a friend. As I was looking for his burial plot, I fell into a dug out grave and had to call my partner to come help me get out. FML
Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriend's recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and its two back legs were poking out of the dirt. FML
Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
Today, I received a text message from my wife, who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends, saying, "I have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you in the morning." Umm… His? FML
Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML
Today, I went to visit my husband's grave. I was unable to mourn in peace because some teenagers were smoking pot and talking about a government conspiracy "to change the way gravity works" on the next grave over. FML
Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML
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Top comments
DLBL 23
His stupid buddies should have bailed him out. This phone call would be a good time to say, "What? I can't hear you...you're breaking up. Are you in a hole or something?...." lost connection.
FluffythePink 23
That's hilarious. He'd never live it down if that was me.
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Comments (3)
DLBL 23
His stupid buddies should have bailed him out. This phone call would be a good time to say, "What? I can't hear you...you're breaking up. Are you in a hole or something?...." lost connection.
FluffythePink 23
That's hilarious. He'd never live it down if that was me.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
To be fair, in terms of dumb things to do when drunk, visiting his mother's grave is kinda wholesome.