Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while trying to give an immunization to a "special" 13-year-old, I got spit on, kicked, almost bitten, and had a chair thrown at me. When it was all over, I flinched when the patient tried to hug me. Her mom called me a "b*tch" and I later found out she wasn't a "special" child. FML
Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML
Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office, where my mother happens to work. When my doctor tried to prank her by saying I have chlamydia, my mother laughed and said she didn't believe it, adding, "Have you even seen the way she interacts with boys?" FML
Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML
Today, I was giving myself a breast exam for lumps. I heard laughing, looked around and saw that the 12 year-old neighbor and his friends were watching through the window. FML
Today, my daughter wanted to show me the tooth she had just lost. As I was in a rush to leave for work, I quickly picked up and swallowed my pill that was on the kitchen table. It was only until I looked back down at the table did I see not only my pill, but one extremely angry daughter glaring at me. FML
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a fingerstick in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year-old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to, "Watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The kid fainted. FML
Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML
Today, while waiting for my name to be called at the doctor's office, a little boy threw a Dixie cup full of water at me, making it look like I wet my pants. His mom just laughed and dragged him off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
umerin 32
I guess an apple a day really does keep the doctor away.
ElricMustang 23
I'm just surprised she kept an apple in her pocket, expecting to have to throw it at you lol
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (49)
Jenniesaurus 14
Interesting reaction... Usually I just have a panic attack and pass out on the floor.
jcast0627 9
An apple a day...
Sasha124 5
???
Byere 4
In all fairness, you have to laugh at something like that. She must have had that plan for ages, waiting for the right moment lol
cutierawrz 14
An apple a day will keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough
shanebob 15
I don't think you have a choice her, OP. Gotta heed to the saying.
sneakattacked 21
How did she even fit an apple in her pocket??
Iseeyou56 3
Apple slices
KxHoneyCombxP 24
Doubt
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
Someone took "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" too literally...