Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the ripe old age of 27, I dislocated my hip while making love to my husband. FML
Today, I finally sorted out my health insurance and went to the doctor. After seeing my X-rays and confirming I still had scoliosis, he also confirmed arthritis in both hips, 2 exploded discs and that I have "the back of a 50 year-old." I'm 24. FML
Today, I got told by the doctor that my aching knees indeed have advanced arthritis, meaning I'm grinding bone on bone 24/7. At 49, I'm "relatively young," meaning they want me to survive for as many years as I can before they'll replace them. Never mind that I've already been in agony for 10 years. FML
Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML
Today, I took a pretty nasty fall on the ice and made noises similar to the ones my dad makes when he's in pain. I am officially becoming old. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML
Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML
Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML
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Top comments
TheOtherNewest1 6
Wait, how do you know your mother's joints cracked when she was having sex?
FerrariCake 2
She only mentioned the "benefits of marriage" in her post because she was too proper and embarassed to say "my husband was riding me like a drunk redneck on a mechanical bull".
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Comments (106)
2npac 0
lemme guess, you're a military wife?
frostie 0
Anonymous you should properly see a doctor about that. My guess is that your taking any milk at all. When i wasnt drinking any milk at all my bones would make cracking noises like that.
letmethinknow 0
I drank milk every morning since I was born and my knees and hips have been cracking since I was 13
patticake1601 0
20 and you're already married? wow....just. wow.
great_lawl 0
pop it like it's hot!
greenfairy_fml 0
YDI for being married at 20. No wonder you're aging fast....
Fenny 0
I'm 17 and my hip locks up and causes me pain when I move in certain ways, you don't have to be old to have joint problems. The popping seems like it would be normal
jordyne 5
******* aye! I've had severe arthritis since i was 9 years old. So she should shut up and be happy that she has a healthy body. Even if it does crack a bit. who's doesnt
akayou 0
ydi for being 20 and married
Six_and_the_Moon 3
Yawn.
Gitsandshiggles 0
joints cracking? positions? what does that have to do with the tax breaks you get from being married?
arylinnen3 0
shut up everyone who is saying YDI. 20 is a respectable age to get married. if she was mature enough and wanted to get married then why are you blaming her? and her joint problem had nothing to do with it.