Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the ripe old age of 27, I dislocated my hip while making love to my husband. FML
Today, I finally sorted out my health insurance and went to the doctor. After seeing my X-rays and confirming I still had scoliosis, he also confirmed arthritis in both hips, 2 exploded discs and that I have "the back of a 50 year-old." I'm 24. FML
Today, I got told by the doctor that my aching knees indeed have advanced arthritis, meaning I'm grinding bone on bone 24/7. At 49, I'm "relatively young," meaning they want me to survive for as many years as I can before they'll replace them. Never mind that I've already been in agony for 10 years. FML
Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML
Today, I took a pretty nasty fall on the ice and made noises similar to the ones my dad makes when he's in pain. I am officially becoming old. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML
Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML
Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML
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Top comments
TheOtherNewest1 6
Wait, how do you know your mother's joints cracked when she was having sex?
FerrariCake 2
She only mentioned the "benefits of marriage" in her post because she was too proper and embarassed to say "my husband was riding me like a drunk redneck on a mechanical bull".
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Comments (106)
bumblebee43 0
could be worse, you could be 20 with arthritis...
celtics734 2
aww poor baby. Try being a 24 yr old who has already been told that both knees need to be replaced.
cerebellum_fml 0
pop it like its hot
G5guy 0
ydi for being married at 20
Witchcraft_fml 5
Ah, this FML made me laugh.
doggie3 0
you're young. but my knees have this horrible thing where the pop whenever I bend them. it's been happening since I was two. it's really bad. but really? twenty? not to be rude r whatever, but you're a little young. in my country we can't even drink alchol at twenty.
blah123blah 0
You can't even drink and your married
Dramamine 0
Why are people so hung up on the fact that OP is married? It's not a big deal, hell, I know people who got married younger. If OP found someone to love, then good for her.
sharpeenpouper 0
#32 there is no women on the Internet. I'm afraid you have all been trolled.
luckyducky123 0
Haha, married at twenty and you couldn't drink at your own wedding? That's sad. You should live in Canada, it's better here. Legal at 18, bitches. :) or 19, depending on the province. But still better than 21, suckas. Anyways, I wouldn't worry about it. My knees crack every so often.
letmethinknow 0
okay you're 20, married, and you're having joint-popping sex if you didn't let out a huge fart in the middle of everything this is not an FML