Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the ripe old age of 27, I dislocated my hip while making love to my husband. FML
Today, I finally sorted out my health insurance and went to the doctor. After seeing my X-rays and confirming I still had scoliosis, he also confirmed arthritis in both hips, 2 exploded discs and that I have "the back of a 50 year-old." I'm 24. FML
Today, I got told by the doctor that my aching knees indeed have advanced arthritis, meaning I'm grinding bone on bone 24/7. At 49, I'm "relatively young," meaning they want me to survive for as many years as I can before they'll replace them. Never mind that I've already been in agony for 10 years. FML
Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML
Today, I took a pretty nasty fall on the ice and made noises similar to the ones my dad makes when he's in pain. I am officially becoming old. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML
Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML
Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML
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Top comments
TheOtherNewest1 6
Wait, how do you know your mother's joints cracked when she was having sex?
FerrariCake 2
She only mentioned the "benefits of marriage" in her post because she was too proper and embarassed to say "my husband was riding me like a drunk redneck on a mechanical bull".
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Comments (106)
brianr09 0
How in the hell do you know what your mom's joints sound like when she had sex?
ladiesman14 0
that is actually sexy like queefing.
ti3n_t 0
wait, if this is true, what you really need to be concerned with is the fact that your mother was "touching" you inappropriately as a child. You need to see a psychiatrist for those kinds of horrors.
Six_and_the_Moon 3
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Web_search_engine
Six_and_the_Moon 3
Teach a man to fish ...
Six_and_the_Moon 3
Indeed. He may even come home with a tasty dinner.
katherine810 0
I know its just a joke but it's rather offensive.. arthritis is an illness and a disability... some of us have to live with it all the time. I've seen some of the comments of people on here who are really offended by this.. i'm sixteen, and i have had arthritis for twelve years. Kids get arthritis too, not just 'old people'. x
freyafreya 0
Big deal. I'm 16 and ever since I was 10, everytime I'd kneel down my knees would "pop". I have severe arthritis in my kness. Your life isn't ****** because your joints "popped" while having sex.
spaaw 0
whats poppin?
Charlie_Chickens 0
Oh my god. Seriously people? To everyone who's saying "I've had arthritis since i was 5!" So what? She said that she pops and cracks like her 50 YEAR OLD mother did. That's it. She wasn't insulting people with arthritis. Learn to read.
xoluvinshayxo 0
chew it over with a twix(;
mcwildcat8230 0
As long as its big things poppin' and lil shit stoppin' then it really shouldn't be a problem
reecescuphoe 0
im the same way...20 and i crack like crazy.. i have arthritis everywhere