Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years-old and pop like an arthritic 50 year-old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at the ripe old age of 27, I dislocated my hip while making love to my husband. FML
Today, I finally sorted out my health insurance and went to the doctor. After seeing my X-rays and confirming I still had scoliosis, he also confirmed arthritis in both hips, 2 exploded discs and that I have "the back of a 50 year-old." I'm 24. FML
Today, I got told by the doctor that my aching knees indeed have advanced arthritis, meaning I'm grinding bone on bone 24/7. At 49, I'm "relatively young," meaning they want me to survive for as many years as I can before they'll replace them. Never mind that I've already been in agony for 10 years. FML
Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML
Today, I took a pretty nasty fall on the ice and made noises similar to the ones my dad makes when he's in pain. I am officially becoming old. FML
Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML
Today, my boyfriend was trying to tackle me to the bed when we heard a loud pop. The pop turned out to be him breaking my pinky finger. FML
Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML
Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML
Today, I have such poor joints that I dislocated my hip trying to twist to wipe my own ass. FML
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Top comments
TheOtherNewest1 6
Wait, how do you know your mother's joints cracked when she was having sex?
FerrariCake 2
She only mentioned the "benefits of marriage" in her post because she was too proper and embarassed to say "my husband was riding me like a drunk redneck on a mechanical bull".
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Comments (106)
potatopeeler 0
So what? I'm 16 and my joints pop if I don't move around for a while. It's really annoying when I shift during class. Most young people I know do this, too.
Inked2009 0
This belongs on **** my sex life not **** my life
mrose57 0
I'm a 52 year old tri-athlete and I DON'T have arthritis. Even odds says I could kick your ass.
FerrariCake 2
"Even odds"? And what about being a tri-athlete makes you think you'd be good at "kicking ass"? I could understand "I can run faster than you" or "I can swim farther than you before getting tired"... but most of the tri-athletes Ive known are skinny as poles. A larger sized child could break them in half.
clegg7c 17
Odds are that you're a douche bag. Honestly how insecure must you be to say something that dumb about yourself.
XxMuFaSaxX 15
why would you want to fight a woman??
metheonlyb 17
@ #7 HAHAHAHA!!! ROFL!!!! I'm your fan!!!! GAWD!!! I can't even control my laughter!
Rico5037 0
I like guitar hero, it's entertaining.
spaaw 0
whats carckin nigga?
grimmelok 0
Having sex is not a benefit of marriage. Waat
perstephane 4
Pretty much everyone's joints crack and pop. I crack my neck and back multiple times a day, and even my sternum pops sometimes. You're fine.
dyliumo 0
hola
LadyLynne 0
that. is. so. sexy. :[