Today, I took my father to a hockey game. He always has to get pictures with the girls, so while in bag check, he used his breath spray. He got me in the eye, and I was temporarily blinded through most of the first period. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a professional hockey game. I wasn't paying attention and a puck was shot into the stands and hit me in the face. My mouth was bleeding and I lost two teeth. As I was trying to cough up my teeth the old man next to me shoved me over and stole the puck. Everyone cheered. FML
Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML
Today, it was my first time as a hockey referee, for a game played by 7-year-olds. At one point, a little boy tripped another boy. Doing my job, I gave him 2 minutes in the penalty box. After the game, I was attacked by a mob of parents. I was even given an optometrist's business card. FML
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML
Today, after lunch with my frail, disabled, 87-year-old father, I reached into my purse for lipstick. I didn't recognize the cute cylinder I pulled out, but thinking it was a flashlight, I pressed the little button, spraying my dad and myself in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to hospital. FML
Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Horrible stinging sensation, and temporary loss of vision aside, which game were you watching? Or trying to watch, anyway?
xica_sp4ever 18
Your dad sounds like a creeper..
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Comments (5)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Horrible stinging sensation, and temporary loss of vision aside, which game were you watching? Or trying to watch, anyway?
alycion 39
Lightning. I have season tickets. And I don’t want to talk about the playoffs.
RichardPencil 32
He needed breath spray to take pictures? He’s probably pucking around on you!
xxWTFxx1981 23
Obviously you are bothered by your father taking pictures with the girls because totally irrelevant to your story...lol
alycion 39
No, it was the whole reason he used it. He’s a smoker. He’s close to them. So he tried to be polite. The girls are very sweet. The picture every game thing started as a joke, because the times he did get pictures, they won. So now it’s game day routine. They’ll stop him if they see us outside. Sports superstitions make no sense, but we go with what works.
xica_sp4ever 18
Your dad sounds like a creeper..
peterblackmer91 12
Pictures with the girls? What girls?? He sounds super creepy.