Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML
Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, I came out to my parents as gay and they reacted better than I expected. Then I found my car destroyed with a note that said "fag" on what used to be my hood. I never thought I'd have to sue my own family, but I'm lucky I have security footage. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, my boyfriend sits in an empty apartment, complaining about it being a rat hole. HE picked the place, HE refuses my help to decorate, as well as my offer to get his stuff from the old place, and yes, he could totally afford something better. But sure, his life is shit. FML
Today, I was paid to be in a commercial, playing a hiker, camping and grilling by a tent with my pretend boyfriend. To make our on-camera interaction more believable, I suggested to him, "Hey, I'm gonna feed you some food, into your mouth." His answer, "Naaah, I'm good." I got rejected on a FAKE date. FML
Today, I found out that my landlord had been showing my apartment to new tenants without telling me, when I woke up this morning to a family of four staring at me scratching my nuts whilst watching TV on my couch in my pajamas, horrified. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
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Top comments
DerrickJames 33
Bait him into his bigotry again but secretly film it. Post it online and watch the viewer boycott begin of that scam for a show.
Blizz18 14
Charming. I don't miss cable one bit.
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Comments (56)
DerrickJames 33
Bait him into his bigotry again but secretly film it. Post it online and watch the viewer boycott begin of that scam for a show.
bretzeller 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The solution is not to attack everyone who says something you don't like. Boy who cried wolf.
JayBug6 9
Point it the show is a scam. It's an actor saying that he lives in a house he isn't. It's completely staged! This is why I don't watch cable.
burgermike92 17
That's not attacking him. It's calling him out on his bullshit and exposing him for being a fraud. Dude deserves it.
izzajaneful 24
This isn't boy who cried wolf. The point of that story was to not cry wolf when there is NOT a wolf. This is the first scene, and there IS a wolf.
Blizz18 14
Charming. I don't miss cable one bit.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Believe me, you're not missing out.
TheNewGuy03 29
Regardless of whether or not he was being paid to be a bigot, it's still bullshit.
Nyattack 14
I would think he wasn't even being paid for that, because he apparently said that off-camera... People like this disgust me.
laurellkawes 31
Time to kick them out of your house. What show was it for?
ssnow_fml 20
Welcome to show biz.
booksellerchic 4
Were they filming with your permission or did they just randomly start filming outside of your home?
Ben14h 22
What show?
Tripartita 45
Hmm, I believe a man's ability to decorate can be broken down as follows: Straight: unable to decorate. Gay (or as McDouche so delicately put it, "fags"): unparalleled decorators. Bi: really good and bad at times, working out to perfectly average ability. Pan: good or bad depending on when you first enter the room (a la Schrödinger's cat). Ace: absolutely refuses to decorate rooms. This is why I keep my doors on timed locks.
anyagrande 31
Don't forget the demisexuals who can only decorate a room after living in it for a month
goodread2200 10
Ahh reality tv - got to get all that realism
MidnaLink 35
I'd tell them that show's over and to get the **** out, but then again that's just me.