Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML
Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, I came out to my parents as gay and they reacted better than I expected. Then I found my car destroyed with a note that said "fag" on what used to be my hood. I never thought I'd have to sue my own family, but I'm lucky I have security footage. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, my boyfriend sits in an empty apartment, complaining about it being a rat hole. HE picked the place, HE refuses my help to decorate, as well as my offer to get his stuff from the old place, and yes, he could totally afford something better. But sure, his life is shit. FML
Today, I was paid to be in a commercial, playing a hiker, camping and grilling by a tent with my pretend boyfriend. To make our on-camera interaction more believable, I suggested to him, "Hey, I'm gonna feed you some food, into your mouth." His answer, "Naaah, I'm good." I got rejected on a FAKE date. FML
Today, I found out that my landlord had been showing my apartment to new tenants without telling me, when I woke up this morning to a family of four staring at me scratching my nuts whilst watching TV on my couch in my pajamas, horrified. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
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Top comments
DerrickJames 33
Bait him into his bigotry again but secretly film it. Post it online and watch the viewer boycott begin of that scam for a show.
Blizz18 14
Charming. I don't miss cable one bit.
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Comments (56)
Superthrash 8
The **** is wrong with people these days?
FalloutScrolls 25
A shorter list would consist of what is NOT wrong with people these days.
Shade0000 9
I normally would tell you to speak for yourself and that I'm fabulous but, in my opinion, this is completely true.
GrapeJuice67 17
What the ****? If they had to pay you money for being allowed to film your house, which I bet they did, I would've made them pay extra. Or kicked them off my property.
WiredTechnician 26
Unless you signed a contract staying otherwise it may be possible for you to revoke their right to use the footage of your house for the show.
lizenhagen 11
Of course he would have been required to sign a contract.
OtakuGamerHero 5
Fake
simongren 5
I wish you could tell us which show. I'd make sure not to watch it.
itsme82 18
Whoa.. I hope you kicked them out.
ohsnapword 21
Step 1. Gather evidence of his remarks. Step 2. ??? Step 3: Profit.
Mynxie 26
If they did not have your permission to film in front of your house, I would have called the police to escort them off your property.
TheBiggerBoot 7
I have a hard time believing this one. You're telling me this got said to the OP and he just took it? Didn't say anyone to anything? Media would have ran with the story.
captainsmegma 12
So what has you pissed? The comment that your house is shit or that your not gay.
burgermike92 17
Are you really that dense?
ArbiterOfFML 24
He is rather upset at the implication that a straight man can't decorate.