Today, a TV crew filmed my house for a real estate show. They got an actor to pretend he owned the place but wanted to move. The host kept saying how shit my house is, and while talking about me with his producer, he said, "Know how I know he ain't a fag? Fags can actually decorate." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML
Today, a real estate agent showed my house to some buyers. I found out when I exited the shower, fully nude, to them in the hallway. FML
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, I came out to my parents as gay and they reacted better than I expected. Then I found my car destroyed with a note that said "fag" on what used to be my hood. I never thought I'd have to sue my own family, but I'm lucky I have security footage. FML
Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML
Today, my boyfriend sits in an empty apartment, complaining about it being a rat hole. HE picked the place, HE refuses my help to decorate, as well as my offer to get his stuff from the old place, and yes, he could totally afford something better. But sure, his life is shit. FML
Today, I was paid to be in a commercial, playing a hiker, camping and grilling by a tent with my pretend boyfriend. To make our on-camera interaction more believable, I suggested to him, "Hey, I'm gonna feed you some food, into your mouth." His answer, "Naaah, I'm good." I got rejected on a FAKE date. FML
Today, I found out that my landlord had been showing my apartment to new tenants without telling me, when I woke up this morning to a family of four staring at me scratching my nuts whilst watching TV on my couch in my pajamas, horrified. FML
Today, I was in the garden of my new house when a neighbour came over and told me to clear off or she would call the owner to tell them they were being burgled. When I told her I was the owner, she said I was clearly unsuitable to be living on this street, and to stop lying before she called the police. FML
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Top comments
DerrickJames 33
Bait him into his bigotry again but secretly film it. Post it online and watch the viewer boycott begin of that scam for a show.
Blizz18 14
Charming. I don't miss cable one bit.
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Comments (56)
JimminyCrib 7
Are you pissed because your house is shitty or because of the stereotype that gays decorate well? The second one is true hence the vast majority of interior designers are either women or gay men.
DoomedGemini 38
Uh...it depends on the person just like everything else. There gay men and women who can't decorate worth a shit. But if a man decorates or anything like that, what'd people call him/treat him? Like he's gay or "girly" and mock him? Oh, maybe that's the issue!
fabulousfiasco 12
They cannot use your house without your permission.
anal_lightbulb 6
This happened in Texas. Who's actually surprised by a Texan saying something like this?
buck16 9
Only steers and queers in Texas.-FMJ
species4872 20
So what' your problem? Your shit house or what he said?
Bibblejomin 18
That's when you ask for $10,000 more while threatening to bash their equipment with a baseball bat. Your house, your rules.
kishmobile444 16
Well then ...someone needs an etiquette lesson! how rude! No matter if you are gay or straight, that's just rude and uncalled for!
msrosalindlutece 3
oy vey....
OtakuGamerHero 5
Fake fake fake