Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML
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Top comments
skiz_fml 0
This isnt an FYL or a YDI. Thats just ******* funny.
redbluegreen 41
Firecrotch.
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Comments (132)
IllegalLight 0
LMAO. nice going genius.
mitchiv13 0
that sounds like something I would do but I haven't. yet
C94Slim 7
nuts are round xD
skiz_fml 0
This isnt an FYL or a YDI. Thats just ******* funny.
THTB 3
Agreed 100%.
redbluegreen 41
Firecrotch.
Intoxicunt 6
They make cream for that.
redbluegreen 41
Lindsay Lohan know of this?
Intoxicunt 6
Yeah, her "cream" is bleach to turn those pubes nice Barbie blonde.
redbluegreen 41
Waxing seems like a better option to me, personally. Especially when she keeps forgetting to wear underwear. Dress for success, as they say.
Intoxicunt 6
Nah, if I were her I would eat peppers and put miracle grow on it. The scarier, the better!
redbluegreen 41
I guess it IS almost Halloween. Time to start drawing faces on everything again, dressing up, and zombie hunting, and then pretend I'm doing it just for the spirit of Halloween this time.
Intoxicunt 6
My crotch is going as Jerry Seinfeld. Now until Halloween gives me just enough time to grow it out fully.
plexico 4
I'm confused. Jerry Seinfeld is ALWAYS clean-shaven. What's the deal. . .? I wanna know!
DrunkenValor 0
Jerry Seinfield isn't always clean shaven, his chest resembles shafts face if you look at it closely. But then he shaved it the fool, but it kept coming back stronger and thicker until it resembled Afroman.
fmylife63093 0
it wouldnt have hurt, unless you were naked. were you naked?
degco44 0
You don't have to be naked for that to hurt. Not all of us wear nut cups 24/7.
null_fml 11
I think #4 meant the ember, dude.
redbluegreen 41
I giggled at nut cups. I feel my immaturity making yet another appearance.
fakepolice 0
well ur nuts do reside at 2 South Crotch Ln... ;)
angryseatroll 5
At least your pants didn't catch on fire! xD
kirbz 0
XD this made me laugh xD YDI for having overreactive reflexes lmao
toink 0
This is how natural selection works. Now you can't make babies.
Intellectualist 0
Haha, your sex would have literally been on fire. *ROFLMAO* at my own joke. :)
Intoxicunt 6
Hey, aren't you my baby's father?
shanisdaman 0
wtf?
Intellectualist 0
oh, yeah I forgot about that :) Thanks for reminding me. I must zoom and perform my fatherly duties! Unfortunately, being a father, my duties don't include breasts. :(
Intoxicunt 6
Your husbandly duties do though. ;)
Intellectualist 0
score!
Zapzip2013 0
in soviet Russia crotch hits you