Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML
Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML
Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML
Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML
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Top comments
skiz_fml 0
This isnt an FYL or a YDI. Thats just ******* funny.
redbluegreen 41
Firecrotch.
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Comments (132)
Queuebert 0
It's not like you're using them anyway.
YourLittleSpies 0
Every time I see the words "without thinking" on this website, I instantly wonder why people have posted the FML. If you say that, you're going to deserve it, Einstein.
Meteor_fml 0
I really enjoy having to scroll through fifteen-billion comments between Plexico and the others on my Blackberry, with a small screen. :/ Seriously, can we get a chatroom on this site, PLEASE? Anyway, OP, every guy gets hit in the nuts at some point. This wasn't even a particularly clever way you got hit. It's not an FML, get over it.
Intellectualist 0
someone's a bit of a mizer...
plexico 4
Meteor, How 'bout I make it up to you with a personal comment? ;) I got my worst nutshot ever a few months ago playing tennis. I've never been hit there during the normal game, but once as I was switching sides and one of my friends decided it would be funny to drill a ball at me while I was not suspecting. It was a direct hit -- it was the first time I got close to vomiting. This funny guy is in his mid-50's and is also my life-insurance agent.
gtommo 0
niceeeeeee....... :) i have done this before as well :P
sammy6597 0
LOL!
SilverXeno 0
I call bunk. Most airbags won't deploy unless the car is moving at least 30MPH when the impact happens. Taking your foot off the break wouldn't cause enough acceleration to get up to 30MPH even if you had 2 or 3 car lengths between you & the next vehicle. Now...I *have* taken claims from people riding motorcycles that had insects & bugs fly into their safety gear and sting them...with the rider losing control.
Intellectualist 0
FAIL
MissNat_fml 0
ouchies
jessxoxo28 5
LOL firecrotch!
PTV360 0
Best comments page I've ever read, thank you plexico and company
shirvon100 0
I did the same thing when a bee landed on mine, ya know you think your protecting your nuts when you slap a burning ebmer or try to kill a bee, but no life has different plans for you. FYL