Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML
Today, my neighbors were busted for a meth lab in their garage. Yesterday, I signed the mortgage. Welcome to our new neighborhood, kids. FML
Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
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Top comments
CoconutOil 7
Most 15 year olds work on their "math" not "meth" :P
jetsown08 21
Perhaps they need to refine their METHods, then.
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Comments (106)
LaughinStock 16
Tell him that he should stop getting his idea from Breaking Bad.
ebonyirony 29
Loo I love that show. Sorry for typos. Mama never said to stay off Fml while drunk.
Jessj958 19
I love that show too! It's awesome I watched every season on Netflix I couldn't get enough!
insertnameherr 11
So.......... I CAN make meth with simple household objects?
TexasRandi 1
Yes just not those.....
Star928 7
Looks like a future druggie you have there, OP.
Ozuru 11
That's what happens when you ask the internet how to make meth.
ebonyirony 29
I learned how in school ;)
gracehi 33
In meth school???
ebonyirony 29
Forensic science lol. Not in great detail, though, haha
zandalee 20
I think your son needs to be scared shitless. Do you have any friends who can pretend to be police (who heard about meth-lab rumor)? This should stop him in his tracks!
outoftown 27
A friend got her misbehaving daughter a tour of the local jail... and morgue. I bet OP's local cops would be glad to give her boy a similar eye-opener.
iseyixes 18
These kids these days are getting dumber and dumber.
shawnaishere 14
I hope you have a talk with him, thats after you beat him ass and tell the parents of his friend.
olpally 33
There's plenty of cornfields in Oklahoma... much easier to grow and profit from... This alleged meth head of a son you have, is just a meat headed dumb ass...
daizey 4
I would seriously be kickin ass even if it was a horrifically failed attempt you know what they say... It's the thought that counts
hailezz349 5
You know what they say.. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree!(;
KiddNYC1O 22
Well, Apple is rather successful.