Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML
Today, my neighbors were busted for a meth lab in their garage. Yesterday, I signed the mortgage. Welcome to our new neighborhood, kids. FML
Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
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Top comments
CoconutOil 7
Most 15 year olds work on their "math" not "meth" :P
jetsown08 21
Perhaps they need to refine their METHods, then.
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Comments (106)
penguin182 18
It wouldn't? Aww, shit. :/
iloveandy143 7
Funny, I'm watching breaking bad as I see this FML
wafey 2
Hellyaa mister Walter.lol
o115 5
Way to immature to even be watching breaking bad, even though it's actually ******* amazing
The_F3rris 11
Hey, you spawned that child.
skokob 7
WOW your son should should study more in high school!
fadingaway 17
That's what happens when idiots watch Breaking Bad, yo.
tomiller64 0
Have you considered adoption?
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, you caught your son in a circle jerk. He was burning baking soda in a failed attempt to mask the smell. He thought you would be less disappointed if you thought he was cooking meth than if he was doing group masturbation.
kjklopu 1
They should've added crystals