Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my 14-year-old daughter holding a lit lighter to the underside of a spoon, which was full of baking powder. She was trying to breathe in the fumes to get high, and later confessed that she thought it's how heroin is made and used. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML
Today, my neighbors were busted for a meth lab in their garage. Yesterday, I signed the mortgage. Welcome to our new neighborhood, kids. FML
Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
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Top comments
CoconutOil 7
Most 15 year olds work on their "math" not "meth" :P
jetsown08 21
Perhaps they need to refine their METHods, then.
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Comments (106)
xpaulatanx 10
I hope you called him and his friends a bunch of retards before kicking them out of your house and grounding your son for a long while. That's just really.... -dumb-. Just, wow...
noisebox 1
Well at least you know where his headspace is now, I'd suggest reserving a jail cell now....
myndmelt 4
Don't let your kids watch AMC.
DMIN11 4
what a bunch of dumbass kids
196hill 3
That's how you make it and if he starts to cook a lot with the oven then you know what he is up to lol
Fletchdads 9
Baking soda would have done them a little better if they were making crack. Haha
tbagmofo 3
they've been watching to much breaking bad
gc327072 31
Fun fact: Recently, Pyrex changed the chemical makeup in their glassware, which weakened the crystal structure. Making meth has one stage in which a very hot liquid has to be rapidly cooled. The old kind of Pyrex could do that all day, whereas with the new Pyrex, the glass measuring cup would explode & shatter, causing hot liquid to go everywhere! Pyrex had no idea that changing their makeup to save costs would deal the meth market a serious blow. Now, if a dude wants to make meth, he must steal glassware from a laboratory, which is rated for such temperature extremes.
Calingaladha 21
Not letting your son follow his dreams of becoming white trash? Does that make you a methamphetameanie? I hope you have other kids...this one's a lost cause.
KiddNYC1O 22
Show the physical effects of usage.