Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the bank to get her new ATM card. As the bank teller gave her the card, he said that the PIN remained the same. Indignant, she cried out, "How do you possibly know my PIN code?" She's 27. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML
Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML
Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML
Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, as part of my becoming an adult, my dad taught me how to use an ATM. The irrational anger I suddenly felt when he told me to "Enter your PIN number into the ATM machine" is too much to be described here. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
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Top comments
MyPupRox 2
shes a keeper, dont worry, theres always clown university ;)
ilovefall10 21
Am I the only one who feels sorry for the daughter? I mean , maybe she wasn't paying attention or maybe she spaced out a little. I think her mother saying ' I raised a nitwit' is a bit harsh. She's your frigging daughter woman.
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Comments (205)
ambeeelove 0
gayest FML! out of all the good ones yu pick this one. smh
Lulblast 4
that's like the one time I went to this reunion with my friend, and they had those 'hello, my name is' stickers. He kept asking everybody who they knew his name.
bobla456 0
Your kinda mean callin your daughter a nitwit
saggypeanuts 0
suck a dick
acb132_fml 3
YDI for calling your own daughter a nitwit
gordogirls 4
bahahaha, my daughters 6 yr old friend asks that every time he is with us and one of my family members knows who he is (he has a learning disability)
ILove2Lol 0
ohemgee lol I am in love with mcr and bvb, haha killjoys make some noise (; and then you know, Andy sixx's amazing voice never gets old (:
UnicornHunter 12
Don't call your daughter a nitwit. It was just a, "Oh, yeah." moment. I wouldn't have known either.
Mpower121 2
I'm sorry but he looks like those 45 year old girls who cut there hair short and dye it blond
Mpower121 2
hi