Today, as part of my becoming an adult, my dad taught me how to use an ATM. The irrational anger I suddenly felt when he told me to "Enter your PIN number into the ATM machine" is too much to be described here. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the bank to get her new ATM card. As the bank teller gave her the card, he said that the PIN remained the same. Indignant, she cried out, "How do you possibly know my PIN code?" She's 27. FML
Today, I was really excited to get a new bank account in my name. My parents wanted me to have it so they could transfer money from mine to theirs and vice versa. What excited me less was my father drunkenly accessing it and taking all my cash. FML
Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML
Today, a woman came through my drive-thru and ordered a latte, but the bank had closed off her cards and she was short 30 cents in cash. I felt bad, so I paid for her. When I went home, I told my dad what I did, thinking he'd be proud of how he raised me but no, he said I'd wasted my money, and made me feel bad about it. FML
Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
Today, I realised that despite having a full-time job I must really be failing at this adulting business, because I called my dad and the first words out of his mouth were, "I’m not sending you any more money." I do borrow money a lot, and yes I was about to ask for more. What the hell is wrong with me? FML
Today, it took me four tries to find the right position to swipe my debit card. My mom screamed, "Oh, for God's sake, why don't you ever get it right the FIRST time?" She then apologized to the cashier for having "such a stupid child." FML
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
Today, I went to an ATM to see how much money I had in my account. I put the card in. It never gave it back. FML
Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
It’s not worth getting angry over. Just wait until you encounter people who say things like “nu-cu-lar” and “expresso” and “pacifically”.
JaneSimple 28
I don't understand?
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Comments (7)
stickyface 17
Gives me PTSD disorder, myself. Please RSVP to attend the next support group. I can pick you up in my sporty SUV.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
It’s not worth getting angry over. Just wait until you encounter people who say things like “nu-cu-lar” and “expresso” and “pacifically”.
Lost Reggie 22
You pitched a fit over a standard safety precaution? F your Dad's life.
JaneSimple 28
I don't understand?
karan7991kumar 6
I think the author was pissed about the dad saying “atm machine”, since the M in it stands for machine
BurnInDemonFire 39
Deep breath, count to ten, and then get ready for decades of even worse language fails.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
What? You were mad about entering in a PIN number? That's literally how it works every time you use an ATM. Sounds like you're not ready for adulthood.