Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the bank to get her new ATM card. As the bank teller gave her the card, he said that the PIN remained the same. Indignant, she cried out, "How do you possibly know my PIN code?" She's 27. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML
Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML
Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML
Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, as part of my becoming an adult, my dad taught me how to use an ATM. The irrational anger I suddenly felt when he told me to "Enter your PIN number into the ATM machine" is too much to be described here. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MyPupRox 2
shes a keeper, dont worry, theres always clown university ;)
ilovefall10 21
Am I the only one who feels sorry for the daughter? I mean , maybe she wasn't paying attention or maybe she spaced out a little. I think her mother saying ' I raised a nitwit' is a bit harsh. She's your frigging daughter woman.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (205)
amr2493 0
it is true thy she could have had just one of the "dumb moments" that everybody has but hey if she truely is this oblivious then she will fit in with every other person in our socitey. haha
XxHunterHavocxX 0
You said it yourself. YOU'RE the one that raised the nitwit.
pugsley208 0
she should be the one posting on here for having a mom that's a big enough bitch to post this. shit happens we all **** up get over it and for the love of humanity don't reproduce again cuz u obviously don't deserve to
Mario5491 5
is she in anyway blonde
nimihyel 4
I do things like that all the time... on purpose
HU4L188 0
maybe she didnt kno thst u brought the birth certificate or gave it to her
letmeloveyou 0
it's ok, as long as she has looks she will get far in life.
budd28 0
is she blonde ... it's ok she doesnt have to b natural the hair dye comes with the stupidity
hedgehogz43 1
its never too early to get her on the pole...plus the world needs more single moms.
ryzalicious 0
well maybe she forgot you had to bring the birth certificate she can't be that dumb