Today, I took my 16 year-old daughter to get a bank account, taking her birth certificate with us as requested. When the teller wrote her name down on a piece of paper, my daughter said, "How do you know my name?" The teller just looked at her and held up her birth certificate. I raised a nitwit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I went to the bank to get her new ATM card. As the bank teller gave her the card, he said that the PIN remained the same. Indignant, she cried out, "How do you possibly know my PIN code?" She's 27. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my daughter why her Facebook profile isn't a valid piece of ID. FML
Today, I went to see a movie. While buying tickets, the girl behind the counter asked to show my ID card to proof I'm at least 16 years old. Not wanting to make a drama, I showed it. She took a look at it and declared it as fake. That ID is real and I'm 24. FML
Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML
Today, my daughter was unable to take the SAT. They wouldn’t let her in, because, “no one told her she would need two forms of ID.” To be fair, she would have gotten a terrible score anyway, if she’s really that dumb. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML
Today, as part of my becoming an adult, my dad taught me how to use an ATM. The irrational anger I suddenly felt when he told me to "Enter your PIN number into the ATM machine" is too much to be described here. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MyPupRox 2
shes a keeper, dont worry, theres always clown university ;)
ilovefall10 21
Am I the only one who feels sorry for the daughter? I mean , maybe she wasn't paying attention or maybe she spaced out a little. I think her mother saying ' I raised a nitwit' is a bit harsh. She's your frigging daughter woman.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (205)
samh444 0
you should never say bad things about your own children. you raised her. she probably gets it from you
sammy_kayy 0
hahaha! that would be me!
FlyingLazerWALRU 0
Thats your own fault, YDI.
sushi55555 6
she just had a duh moment, everyone has them, nothing wrong with that
pickles2b2 4
maybe it was just a blonde moment?
newburton13 26
Well, hopefully she gets over that moment of derp and grows up to be successful. I really hope she does for your sake.
eash 10
So? It looks to me as if it was a honest mistake
Drake_The_Dragon 23
Can't people have a brain fat without being a nitwit? Sheesh!
Obediah14 13
At first I thought it said 6 year old so I was like "it's ok. She doesn't understand". Then I was like ooooooh
fantasyworld 39
She probably zoned out or didn't know that you brought it. Everyone has these moments.