Today, while having dinner, my boyfriend decided to tell everyone about our sex life. It wouldn't have been too bad except my father was sitting right next to me. My boyfriend's excuse was that he wanted to make my dad laugh. He didn't laugh. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML
Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, my boyfriend showed me a video on his phone that he'd recorded of us having sex. Furious, I asked him if he'd ever shown it to anyone. His response was, "No, not really, I mean… My roommate walked in on me watching it. Oh, and my dad wanted to know how our relationship was going, I was drunk…" FML
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Top comments
queens_fml 5
ur boy friend is a jerk ..
SpaceMannn 0
why did he think he would laugh? WTF haha.. he was probably like "hey (insert op's dad's name here) did you know ur daughter is a screamer?. =|
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Comments (71)
LTHoratioCaine 4
Of course he's not... On the outside YDI For bad grammar. (He isn't laughing implies he isn't laughing now. Dinner was probably a while ago.)
LTHoratioCaine 4
Having bad grammar* Hypo... (Puts on sunglasses) Crite
glambert1998 0
sounds like my step dad...we were at a place that serves wings and beer and my step dad for drunk and told me and my step sister maddy that him and my mom had had sex earlyer and they were not married yet so the whole sex b4 marrage is true...there getting a divorce
cloud_strife_ 0
I bet his buddies were laughing when he told them about your sex life.
Haibuki 2
Yarly. Yoor boyfriend is indeed a jerk o;
scooter69 0
your bf is a class A idiot!! fyl
tszlazak 0
Wow,56. Why did you write a comment with do mamy errors and no logical flow? Ita like trading a two year old talk...
Azrael489 0
Hello, Kettle? It's me, Pot.
doidazzleu11 0
no sex 4 u young lady for a month hahaha
underyourbreath 8
I would've broke up with his ass on the spot. You wouldn't want your potential future children having the stupid gene.
Azrael489 0
ydi for not dumping his dumb ass on the spot. I bet your dad is dreading you ending up with such a loser.
Shadenfreude_613 0
Dump him