Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she had some good pictures of me for my resume. She gave me her phone to look through her gallery. I found a beautiful album of photos of me and my ex. FML
Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
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Top comments
Iwashere12345 0
didn't you know enough about those when you were 15 to not do that?? O.o
mmichealaa 0
if i were her i would've just laughed.. it's not really that bad
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Comments (202)
TheBoss47_fml 3
That's why I don't bring anybody home
blinksmilewink 23
Freshman year and you're from the UK?
HuntressLocs 0
So, did you get a second date?
Skittletits 0
What kind of tampons? If they were super then I could see the embarrassment.
bennett1016 5
So you got it in right?
TookaWooka666 0
"Shouldn't of done that, he's just a boy."
deadlymine3 0
the bad thing is he put his name as tamponface
Smidgery 5
I'm sorry but 'freshman year' ... 'mom' You're from the UK? Dude,
scooter50 12
well they are meant for plugging bloody holes right?...
chris80cent 0
I've done that many of times after a good sparring session. They're are the best things for a nose bleed. Don't be embarrassed.