Today, I was really excited because the girl I'd liked since freshman year asked me out. She came to my house and my mom decided to show her baby pictures of me with tampons up my nose because I'd had a nose bleed. Even worse, there was one picture of me when I was 15 doing the same thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, my mom told my girlfriend an embarrassing story about me, along the lines of whenever my parents would take me school clothes shopping, I'd cry because I hated all the choices they gave me. The most recent incident of this? Last year. I'm 18. FML
Today, I asked my mom if she had some good pictures of me for my resume. She gave me her phone to look through her gallery. I found a beautiful album of photos of me and my ex. FML
Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Today, I helped out with makeup at my daughter's high school play. As one girl walked past, I told her that she'd smudged pink lipstick all up the side of her face. Turns out it was a birthmark. She cried in the dressing room for half an hour. FML
Today, I woke up to a bloody nose. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I creatively dripped the blood over a knife for photography class because the assignment was to show emotion. So many of the students and faculty were disturbed that I'm now forced to talk to the school psychologist. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
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Top comments
Iwashere12345 0
didn't you know enough about those when you were 15 to not do that?? O.o
mmichealaa 0
if i were her i would've just laughed.. it's not really that bad
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Comments (202)
kittycatman2 3
It's all fun and games till the blackmail pictures come out.
uridea 14
lol were you trying to be like Duke from She's the Man?
SunDropGirl 0
Flippin love that movie!
itsbritneybixchh 0
that was the best part! :D
FMMFL1992 3
Lol this is the first thing I thought when I read this FML
JustJoJo124 5
Haha first thought in my mind
uridea 14
lol it has to be one of my most watched movies of all time
lazymax418 3
I wonder what her response was...
MrSexyPants 14
"Marry me!"
jane_marie 12
op sure looked funny with tampon up his nose when he's a baby. but when he's 15? thats just nasty.
broomhildo 19
How is it nasty? It's efficient for stopping nose bleeds. They are made to absorb blood after all.
geekometer96 0
Wrestlers use tampons to stop nosebleeds, it works fast and keeps them from a fault, it's just cotton tightly compacted
IThinkItsAlright 7
was it used?
purplishzebraz 0
Pshyeah definately.Pst no dumbass XP.
IThinkItsAlright 7
ever heard of sarcasm? :)
ZTD09 2
You quite obviously haven't.
zaveeshaveesh3 7
ZTD09-win
sunnyday369 0
she's the man...
Capt_Oblivious 10
I see you were completely unprepared for this date. 1, You have or create an emergency or some other sort of event that will cause your family to be gone for the duration of the date. 2, If the above fails, you immediately dispose of any incriminating 'evidence' that your family may have. This includes but is not limited to; video, photos, and alcoholic beverages (if it applies to your family and how they drink/act under the influence, your results may vary). 3, If all else fails, murder the family and hide the bodies. Usually people can go 'missing' for days before neighbors notice anything which will give you plenty of time to enjoy your date. Please note that if you opt for #3, be sure to enjoy your date to the fullest extent possible, as this will likely be the last date you will ever have, at least with a member of the opposite gender.
satanic_fml 13
you win the internet
Capt_Oblivious 10
Sweet, party at my place and your all invited. Except the guy with the tampons in his nose, he's a loser.
klong91 7
Someone obviously likes shoving tampons up his nose.
bubo_fml 11
No big deal...I built a model of the Starship Enterprise, using plastic tampon applicators for the engine thrusters...I took it to school for show & tell...My Mom thought it was funny & didn't even try to stop me...Everyone laughed at me...
XxsexyemoxX 0
Haha 15?! XD well... I sugjest: A: go to ur dates house next time B: Dont shove tampons up ur nose web u got a nose bleed.