Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my four year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MissAwesomeness 4
damn kids are so truthful. fyl. sorry.
aaronmk 7
she must be one clever little girl
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
xtremizt 0
Umm why did you have to get "your" text history checked? But FYL for this and good that you found out...
MandaOSU 1
They're probably on a family plan. Lol this is the third (or so) comment to this effect, have you people ever heard of cell phones? Because every/most cell company has family plans, and only morons who enjoy over paying for cell service are not on one...
bindee2211 2
woops accidentally said 'you totally deserved it on the vote' :S just ignore that sorry your like sucks balls :(_
XxAndyasphixiate 1
If i were you, i would have smacked the balls right off him. Oh wait, he doesn't have any :P
nubx 0
there are some real idiots on here
bears03 0
Accidentally hit the "you deserve" sorry...my daughter told me her daddy kissed his ex...he denied it but i'll never know...
FleshForFantasy 3
Time to confront your husband. It sucks that you have a daughter together but he's the one not thinking about his family. FYL and good luck!
rawrchikarawr 0
ha :p
paradiseisland01 0
at least your daughter was telling you the truth Your lovely husband could have told your daughter not to say nothing and it could have gone on for years and still not knowing nothing. you should be grateful .
alexg823 0
Don't be sad, won't ever happen like this anymore.
kat815 0
U should thank your daughter get divorced and move on. Too many idiots on here.