Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago, my four year-old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML
Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year-old daughter. FML
Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML
Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML
Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MissAwesomeness 4
damn kids are so truthful. fyl. sorry.
aaronmk 7
she must be one clever little girl
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
intheboot 0
divorce is not the answer. sorry though OP, that hurts.
shumian 4
Daddy HAD a wife, divorce that clown
Livinia 11
What a smart daughter you have.
ribbyc80 0
see, if he would have planned this better it could be reading, mommy has a girlfriend and a husband, which would be the best possible situation.
KVKdragon 26
ouch. sorry that happened to you. now that texts can be accessed like that, I'm going to be more careful. luckily, I use textfree with voice on my iPod so my parents can't track it at all :P
KVKdragon 26
add "I know" between "that" and "texts"
weels6 0
''that I know texts''
kingtz 6
I use google voice so no one without a subpoena can access my texts.
KickItHigh 32
The daughter must've caught them in the act.
DeLpHe3zY 7
Damn.. Suprised he didnt silence the kid. Snitches get stitches lol
psycho9631 1
Dude thats an awesome saying, I'm going too use it.
fairymacabre 7
and end up in ditches.
69_jackson_69 0
Abercrombie and Fitches.
DCFan 9
I honestly didn't even read this FML, i just have to shout to the fml world and let everyone know....PSN IS BACK UP!!!!
emo0366 0
some ppl know that n iv been enjoying the hour iv been on
DCFan 9
right on! and I meant "PSN IS UP.. for now"
DeLpHe3zY 7
Amen.
weels6 0
I don't get it, what happened? what did the daughter mean? WHAT? can someone please explain?
Imabigbeast 5
I don't get it either
bmore225 0
Seriously? You two must be polygamists...
kay_joey 0
The lady's daughter told her "daddy has a wife and a girlfriend". So she went to go check all the texts at the phone company. Her daughter was right. Her husband is cheating on her.
passief 0
doesn't make sense... why would the texts be on her phone?
JustinThunder 8
She got all the texts pulled from his phone, not her phone.
Crewchief10A 2
the husband is cheating.
coolwhiplova 1
Yes
KatrinaKitten 16
It would be horrible to find that out through your own daughter.