Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I'm beginning to regret explaining death to my 3-year-old son. We were at the supermarket when he looked at an elderly woman and loudly told her "You're gonna die soon!" FML
Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML
Today, I took my 6-year-old son to visit his grandmother, as the doctors say she only has days left to live. Minutes after we arrived, he leaned in close and told her that she's going to hell. FML
Today, my mother told my little sister and me that she has breast cancer to make us feel sorry so that we would clean our rooms. She is perfectly fine. My little sister still thinks that "mommy is going to die". FML
Today, my husband told my 5-year-old daughter that if I swallowed a watermelon seed, I would get pregnant. Tonight, she dropped one in my mouth while I was asleep. FML
Today, my eldest daughter told me about the sharp pains she's been having for the past couple of days. She also told me how she thinks it's really pointy carrots trying to escape her body. She's 11, and going to middle school. FML
Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML
Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
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Top comments
slooby_fml 25
She's pretty clever to not fall for your shenanigans
ryanthecheeseguy 18
This girl is going places. Not college, but places.
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Comments (123)
Tootsieroll0505 19
Smart girl
Cazz91 21
This kind of reminds me of a show the Rug Rats that I use to watch when I was little. Angelica told Chuckie that a watermelon will grow inside of him since he ate the seed by accident. Ah the good old days for cartoons. :)
nikhilmanuel 10
You could eat an apple seed, too, to show her she'll be fine
skyeyez9 25
Maybe show her info about stomach acid? That it is strong enough to dissolve apple seeds.
Epikouros 32
Even better: show her what happens when you throw apple seeds in hydrochloric acid.
daboar 5
my mom and brother used to tell me the same thing and i believed it and was very careful when eatinh fruit to make sure i wouldnt swallow the seeds
simsgirlgem 25
Looks like Jr. needs a good grounding a spanking for that my brother did that to me and our little sister all the time
Zehla 7
All you people thinking this kid is an idiot: SHE IS A KID. Stop being dicks. None of us went through our childhood without believ ing at least one stupid thing.
ratorr2 23
It's a good time to educate her on what a seed needs to germinate. My daughter went through a similar situation when someone told her (at age 5) she would get fat if she at anything with the word fat on it. I found this out one day when she got very upset after eating some crackers and then reading the nutrition info. She was much happier after I taught her that a body needs such things to stay healthy as long as you don't eat too much of it.
BrianaKoala 7
She mixed up which is right and which is wrong!
Omniprism 15
Have your son tell her he lied and apologize.