Today, I realized how much I hate my apartment. Not only can I hear my creepy upstairs neighbor having sex with random hookers every few night, I can also hear him everytime he takes a shit. I honestly don't know which is worse. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML
Today, for the second week in a row, I woke up to the sound of my awful upstairs neighbors having sex between the hours of 1 and 3 AM. Their bed is so noisy, and earplugs barely help. At this point, based on the rhythm of their bed squeaking, I can tell when they're about to finish, and I hate it. FML
Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML
Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML
Today, I actually can't choose what's worse, hearing my direct neighbour having really loud sex on a regular basis, including furniture breaking, or hearing people cheering and playing the piano in the same room. Upper-class fantasy? FML
Today, and intermittently ever since I moved in, the guy who lives in the apartment next to me keeps having loud sex with his hookup of the week, while I’m trying to watch TV, eat dinner, etc. I can’t even complain about him to my landlord. Why? The noisy guy is my landlord. FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML
Today, the landlord of our building constructed a bathroom in the space under the stairs, outside my office, on the other side of a thin wall. He must have some kind of bowel disorder, because now I get to hear the sounds of his loud, wet and gassy pooping several times per day. FML
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Top comments
purple_riot 0
What about when the hookers take a shit?
heatherrrx 0
Move out! Plain and simple. Either that or report him because prostitution is illegal, so maybe he'll get thrown in jail and he won't bother you anymore.
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Comments (116)
clappy5 0
sofya...really its poor? i thought it was their capital...id expect it to be better off than other parts like..varna or shumen... well...FYL that really sucks personally i think the shit is worse...
Dogmaw 0
Maybe they aren't hookers. Maybe he is such a monster good lay, he can AFFORD to be a noisy pooper.
chickitychina 0
start making annoying noises to him! grossness dude.
1234512345cj 0
Wow has to be the shiting that's worse
element01 0
Mind Your own business! Quit being all uppity. Everyone takes *****! and If he has the money to bang hookers.. let him! YDI for paying so much attention
avngdsvnfld701 1
I bet if you told him you can hear him takin a shit, he'd be embarrassed and move out=) Or hold his shit in until he can crap at his friend's house lol
happygoluckyhh 0
You have a mouth...use it. Complain to him and the manager.
alibi2277439 0
1. why are you listening.? 2. grab an i.pod and blast some heavy metal, then it's all good. ;)
ShinyShine 0
Try living next to him >_> Now you can report him for having lots of women over everynight or you can complain to him that you hear him having sex & taking a dodo.
bigraws23 0
Move or ask to jion