cocacoola
Iceland
Noise annoys
Today, the couple downstairs decided they wanted to try a home birth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
midwify
Asaa, Denmark
911 what's your emergency?
Today, I gave birth to our first child at home. What was supposed to be a beautiful moment of us peacefully greeting our newborn, ended up with the cops knocking on our door. Apparently me giving birth sounds like a domestic dispute. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Hell no!
Today, my wife opted for a home birth with a nurse and her mother. Her mother is such a baby-feral, men-are-bastards, hippie feminist dragon that not only did she yell at me when I tried to be in the room, she has now pushed me out of the house. I ended up sat in my car with only one shoe and no phone. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
San Francisco, United States
Boom boom
Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML
katiebug
Topeka, United States
Today, I was trying to get a good night's sleep before the huge exam tomorrow, which I'm extremely anxious about. The SAME night my neighbor below me is having a home birth. It lasted NINE HOURS. FML
ineedsleep
J?rvenp, Finland
Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML
Anonymous
Titusville, United States
Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML
Anonymous
Waldorf, United States
Make it stop
Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors. They have a four-month-old child and appear to be firm believers in the "let them cry it out" philosophy. The baby's room is right above mine. A few days of trying to sleep through this shit and I'll look like a Walking Dead extra. FML
Anonymous
Family portrait
Today, I gave birth, but my husband was late and got here just in time to cut the cord. He was hung over after celebrating his impending fatherhood all night. He missed the cord twice, cut it, then fell over, and wound up in the bed next to mine, with a hydrating IV and a bashed head where he hit it on the baby's cot. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
South Salem, United States
Crowded
Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew, and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML
pacelily
San Marcos, United States
Oh no…
Today, I met my new upstairs neighbors and their 4 kids all under the age of 6. I met them due to all the thudding coming from upstairs. FML
Top comments
livgasms 4
wait til you smell them cooking the placenta
amrik 11
or she may just be really loud and he's really good
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Comments (111)
Ithiaca 3
Great, no medical intervention. Send them some flowers or cookies! Congradulate them on not following the crowd.
daisyloo 7
That's not that bad, maybe for you but you can leave and come back later! Problem solved:)
emerluvsu 6
Eughhh....thats gonna be both noisy and disgusting.Eughhh....thats gonna be both noisy and disgusting.
ryanst 7
Holy shit, you just double posted within a post.
PandaPandy 6
mind rape
manbearpig7173 0
Yo dawg, I heard you like posts, so I put a post in a post so you can post while you post.
applecaketree 0
you should be happy for them.
ramykomy 0
oh wow...... this can only go well
purdyphish 3
you could always invite your gf over and having amazing sex to block out the noise
purdyphish 3
bf* my b
sk8rchick97 0
unless op is a girl
Soloman212 28
And we all know lesbians are a myth.
Clozzie 0
Hell yeah baby. lol. F UR L
qyka 5
op is a girl.
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
so ;)
mhayes119_fml 0
time to get the crisco and spatula
Madelinexo 6
Pleasant.
itswhateveridk 0
thts both stupid and risky... not to mention old fashioned and weird...
Ugi 27
Actually, it's none of those things. If all the signs indicate a straightforward delivery then it's no more risky and in a relaxed, familiar environment complications are much less likely. It's stupid to assume rather than to research. It's in fact very modern to give birth at home - it's an increasing trend as people realise how much more comfortable it is. It is also utterly natural (and thus not in the least weird). Where do you think a thousand generations of your ancestors were born? In hospital?
Quall1357 0
I agree with 36. people are a lot more comfortable giving birth at home.
leahhhh 7
it's not risky or old fashioned given 45% of people have home birth
itswhateveridk 0
well they r faggots
itswhateveridk 0
you stupid ************ what do u do all day sit here on fml and write? jeez and yea it's stupid beacuse what if you need actual medical attention instead of some midwife who can do relatively nothing for the mom if she starts profusely bleeding or something. I say this beacuse I was watching a TLC show where they had a home birth and had to rush to the hospital beacuse the midwife ****** up...
moogiex9 6
Wow! A well thought out, well educated, properly informed, mature response. Well done! *In case you missed it, because you didn't see it on TV, - that was sarcasm.
LiveLaughLaugh 9
the midwife does give medical attention... that's kind of why she's there.
itswhateveridk 0
yeah but only to the baby dumbass if the mother starts to die of bleeding or she needs real attention she's going to need someone who went to MED SCHOOL. not floppy hippies midwife academy you retard. what's she gonna do, rub herbs on it?
ladybugobgyn 0
ugi, do you want to know when the most disasters happen? to the "straightforward" pregnancies. let me know the next time you take call and can speak from experience.
Tektite 14
Leave the house, go somewhere for the day. You won't even know it happened.