Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML
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Top comments
misspulkadot24 17
Forget the comment about losing the weight, that was just mean, however you might want to make sure next time that you aren't giving your neighbors a show via your windows.
Wambachuki 5
Sex burns fat; problem solved?
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Comments (174)
SrakaSrakasta 20
So, which one is it going to be, fatty?
hazydaze 9
They shouldn't have commented on your weight, that's just ****** up. Obviously your boyfriend has no problem with the way you are now, and if so then it doesn't matter. As long as you're happy. But always make sure your blinds are closed so you don't give any pleasure to nasty peeping toms.
Marineman5 6
Have him arrested for sexually harassing you. Problem solved.
the_true_batman 10
1. You don't know that it was a him. 2. It isn't sexual harassment. 3. It's her responsibility to not be nude in front of the window. 4. She doesn't know who it was. I'm hoping you were joking, because if not you're crazy.
PandaSpots 10
That's not harassment. All he did was tell her to close the blinds. I'm sure he wasn't watching long if he commented about her closing the blinds and losing some weight. He probably was disgusted. I would be too.
Marineman5 6
I was. And it's a guy because the note said something about her weight. A women wouldn't have mentioned it. The blinds should have been closed, but it's her apartment she can have sex where ever she wants.
TheDrudgeChild 4
56 - How does the weight comment mean that ONLY a guy could have said it? Women insult other women's weights all the time!
Marineman5 6
I just believe a women she doesn't know wouldn't mention anything about her weight. A man would.
videokid2000 10
67- Please stop. I'm losing IQ points just by reading your comments.
Marineman5 6
Haha sorry for thinking a guy wrote the note.
tweetbaby14 18
67, I'm a woman. When I see larger women doing things that they really don't need to be for everyone to see, I say something. Women can be disgusted by other women.
Marineman5 6
Never said they couldn't. I'm just giving my opinion.
tweetbaby14 18
How is accusing men of something just because it talks about sex an opinion?
DerpinaDerpton 8
It wasn't becuse it was sex, idiot. It was because (as I agree with 67), a man would prolly tell a stranger that she needs to lose weight. I'm not sayin this applies to every guy. A woman would prolly refrain. Plus I don't think a chick would tell someone to lose weight before goin at it.30 pounds is like nothing(I lost a ton of weight before) and it doesn't make it much different when I am....a voyeur. Now a dude might notice.
ebonyirony 29
I liked all your comments except this one, D. It works for both genders. Sex is sex. People eat it up. No pun intended. And you'd think either sex would notice extra weight? Still, it really wasn't their place to comment. Maybe a quick note saying, "nice show, close the blinds"?
tweetbaby14 18
130, first off, stupid shit, don't call me an idiot when you clearly don't know how to read or type out probably ("prolly" isn't a word). I didn't say because it's sex it's a man being discussed. You need to shut the **** up and learn how to read.
ebonyirony 29
Hey tweety bird. Leave derp alone. Also you didn't even explain what you wanted her to know :) your pist doesnt exactly make much sense. And you just told her she couldn't spell. I personally dont mind the usage of "prolly". She only mentioned you in the first part anyway. I think you ought to just shut the **** up and learn to read. Without opening your mouth. It isn't very nice. And she's new to the site. Now don't get all bitchy. I hate back and forth fights. Especially since I feel like you'll get offended. Even if it is not offensive.
ebonyirony 29
Also, people are, in fact, entitled to their opinion. The person you bitched at earlier suggested a man wrote it because they, personally, thought a man could have written it. Not everyone lives your experiences or thinks how you do.
ProfLawliet 1
Ouch, FYL indeed. Careful, next time you could end up on a website.
folfg0 12
But she also deserves it for not closing her blinds and kinda for not taking care of her body. Although granted not as much for not taking care of her body. I understand that it can be difficult. I have problems with it too. Just saying.
NurseAbi 10
Jealousy is a terrible thing, OP!
BubbleGrunge 18
What a dick, I personally would leave my blinds open from now on just to annoy the **** out of your neighbor. Don't like it, don't look asshole. Obviously your boyfriend likes you the way you are,which is all that matters.
TheJester12 15
It's okay , clearly your boyfriend has no complaints with your truffle shuffle dance under the sheets and that is all I suppose really matters in the end ....
FuzzyJack 15
Sorry, but you deserve it, but only because you didn't close the blinds, not because of your weight. The comment about your weight was really rude and unnecessary of the person to write.
egrace 4
Well put