Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML
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Top comments
misspulkadot24 17
Forget the comment about losing the weight, that was just mean, however you might want to make sure next time that you aren't giving your neighbors a show via your windows.
Wambachuki 5
Sex burns fat; problem solved?
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Comments (174)
secretkeeper911 4
I can't be the only one that misread it as "Dead girl in apartment 3D..."
xmaximusx 12
Lmfao
JustHayden 5
Oh that's a burn...
hateevryone 15
Always take precaution before sex. You never know who's watching.
lowercaseG 13
Awwww that's rude!
krystie_8 2
To be honest, if it were me, I'd just open the blinds all the way.
alexiscalifornia 0
ignore that ass and his weight insults...however maybe you should do the opposite and give him a little show ;)
dellam 3
What one did you choose?
xdaftpunkxloverx 10
OP, don't let that bother you. He had no right saying something like that OR watching through your window. You can do whatever you want and live however you want, and you don't have to bend to the will of ANYONE, especially not someone who doesn't know you. And besides, he's obviously a lonely, miserable **** who will continue to live that way.
hiandrews69 29
I would have put a big ******* poster in the window that said "Stop being such a peeping tom, you creep" and then tried to catch whoever it was. What a ******* prick (or fistfull of assholes, depending on how many watched...)