Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was dressing in my apartment when I noticed I left the blinds open. Outside, a maintenance man was mowing the grass within eyeshot. I figured I'd leave the blinds open and give him a little peek of the goods. Later I found a note on my window saying, 'Next time, close the blinds'. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML
Today, I decided to do naked yoga in my lounge room, as I always do. Later, I found a note on my front door saying "Keep doing what you're doing". FML
Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML
Today, I fell asleep at my boyfriend’s house and missed my curfew. It’s almost 4 a.m. Scrambling, I arrived home to find the locks changed. On the door knob was a note: “Go live with your boyfriend, you slut. See if he cooks and cleans up after you. I’ll help you move out your stuff in the morning. - Mom” FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
Today, my neighbor came up to me, lowered her voice and said, "I suggest you buy some drapes for your bedroom dear..." When she started to walk away, she added, "...and a gym membership." FML
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Top comments
misspulkadot24 17
Forget the comment about losing the weight, that was just mean, however you might want to make sure next time that you aren't giving your neighbors a show via your windows.
Wambachuki 5
Sex burns fat; problem solved?
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Comments (174)
peoplepainter 1
Dear Asshole Peeping Tom, Please either get a life, or stop being a perv. Either would be acceptable. Thanks
ganjaone 2
Maybe that note was from ur bf
annafii 7
What a jackass. Don't feel the need to change yourself - it is not your problem that you don't fit the aesthetic requirements of some narrow-minded, rude dickwad. You might want to close your blinds though, some people have (ridiculously) been reprimanded for indecent exposure in their own homes. Sigh.
shockhead101 6
Lol blame it on Mc Donalds!
musicluvr2000 11
Peeping Tom much?
nora111197 8
Tell him that he could either move you perv or shut the **** up, both would be better
Jarhead2700 2
lol at least the guy was straightfoward and honest
Sleepy_Brown_23 0
Lol next time make sure everything's saucer n no one kan see
nrelavender 10
Make sure to close your blinds, OP. Then creepos won't stare at you having sex with your boyfriend. As for losing 30 pounds, I wouldn't worry about that, unless you actually think you need to lose thirty pounds. I mean, your boyfriend obviously thinks you are very sexy the way you are!
chinagirl3343 8
That's mean. They could've just put a note under your door saying u might want to close your blinds next time. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." They need to grow up!