Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML
Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
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Top comments
redreynard 14
You crave unusual amounts of wiener when you're drunk? Freud would probably have something to say about that.
hinchkongfang 0
Yeah, sure I'll let you return your drunken sausage purchase, that was probably not refrigerated and could have been ANYWHERE until this morning. Here's a good idea, buy a heap of buns, and some tomato sauce, and sell them to people. You'll have enough to pay your rent, and maybe some profit... Just do it tonight when there are drunken people around, they'll buy anything...
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Comments (123)
TheDrifter 24
3 bags just to carry his sausage... he's either a hero or obsessed.
shawnaishere 14
Since you couldn't get real ones you bought some in the store?
perdix 31
If you're having trouble giving away your sausage, you might be able to make lots of money on the receiving end;)
rcgirl2 11
Why not cook the sausage and give some to homeless people.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Hey, I just met you And this is crazy I got some sausage But no rent money
retyi43 14
pretty terrible
Enslaved 38
What? Use it to pay your rent?(:
br0ccoli 15
"I am Sausage Man! Sausages for everyone! Yes! You get a sausage! And you! And you! And you! Pass the vodka, I'm on a roll here!"
racxius 0
You'r comment made me giggle
AyameKitty 2
And this is why you don't shop when drunk. Or Hungry for that matter. Hope you can work something out.
lunarlace 9
Make a nice meal with the sasuages, then invite your landlord/lady over for dinner. If you can cook, maybe he/she will soften up. If not, well...good luck :3