Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML
Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
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Top comments
redreynard 14
You crave unusual amounts of wiener when you're drunk? Freud would probably have something to say about that.
hinchkongfang 0
Yeah, sure I'll let you return your drunken sausage purchase, that was probably not refrigerated and could have been ANYWHERE until this morning. Here's a good idea, buy a heap of buns, and some tomato sauce, and sell them to people. You'll have enough to pay your rent, and maybe some profit... Just do it tonight when there are drunken people around, they'll buy anything...
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Comments (123)
ZombieRockets 8
Oh man, I'd kill for a sausage right now... Oh, wait.
ajeppsen 25
I'm tied between Ydi and fyl. Have fun eating all the sausages of you know what I mean ;)
ajeppsen 25
Sorry did not mean to post this twice
Dunvanation 4
Weak
olpally 33
You should exchange the sausages for lots of bacon... :)
MakeTodayADTR 20
Sounds like someone was having sausage party. xD
Irishgypsy 2
Get drunk again then cook some sausage and forget all about your rent
Michael_92 20
What if more sausages were bought while he was drunk AGAIN?
jonnied23 20
Of all the things you could buy while drunk why did you get sausages
flutter4 7
At least you will have breakfast for a long time
zuzupetalsYO 11
OP could bring breakfast to his AA meetings.
Adamzee88 2
You're doing it wrong. You pay people in layers not sausages.
ACE1442 16
What a story to tell. But hey you're good on sausage for a while.
kimg0885 23
You can make a sausage tent to live in. Then every morning breakfast is only an arms length away. But really I'm sorry that IS crappy.