Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML
Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
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Top comments
redreynard 14
You crave unusual amounts of wiener when you're drunk? Freud would probably have something to say about that.
hinchkongfang 0
Yeah, sure I'll let you return your drunken sausage purchase, that was probably not refrigerated and could have been ANYWHERE until this morning. Here's a good idea, buy a heap of buns, and some tomato sauce, and sell them to people. You'll have enough to pay your rent, and maybe some profit... Just do it tonight when there are drunken people around, they'll buy anything...
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Comments (123)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What the ****? This was a reply to #1's comment! FML is tripping.
Thorzix 23
YDI for getting THAT drunk, if you can't control yourself when you drink then don't do it.
Needafarm 22
WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Sausagefest!!! lol. Seriously. try to sell them. Make sausage pizza and sell it by the slice. I don't know.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I'd buy them all. I love sausage. ....shutup.
zandalee 20
I know of lots of guys who would like to have their sausages accosted.
Migole 36
Well you had the money to buy alcohol ... ;) Still sucks though. That's why I never take too much cash with me when I go out. Maybe you can sell some sausages to your friends? XD
ohrlly7457 7
Maybe he rememers because those weren't the ony saisages you used last night. Winkity wink wink
mritty 2
You tried to *return* the sausages? Were you still drunk that morning? That's the only valid excuse for thinking returning purchased meat would be an acceptable thing to do.
andiewithlove 21
I agree with 18. Go to a corner and sell your sausage! You could sell the stuff you got at the store too(;
conor12 5
Eat before you get drunk and that may not happen