Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store, but once I'd filled my cart, I realized that I'd forgotten my wallet, and because I'm not the sort of animal who just dumps stuff in random aisles, I had to awkwardly put all my items back on their shelves. FML
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, my horrible parents turned up to the restaurant I work at just to mess with me. Dad forgot his wallet, what a surprise, and asked me to pay the bill. I refused so my manager got involved. My dad got arrested, I got fired and might lose my lousy flat if I’m late on the rent. FML
Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML
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Top comments
redreynard 14
You crave unusual amounts of wiener when you're drunk? Freud would probably have something to say about that.
hinchkongfang 0
Yeah, sure I'll let you return your drunken sausage purchase, that was probably not refrigerated and could have been ANYWHERE until this morning. Here's a good idea, buy a heap of buns, and some tomato sauce, and sell them to people. You'll have enough to pay your rent, and maybe some profit... Just do it tonight when there are drunken people around, they'll buy anything...
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Comments (123)
Herculesninja27 5
Lmao! I laughed so hard! Atleast you Didn't get payed in gum by your boss like the other guy a couple days ago haha
kimg0885 23
They should team up. One could sell sausages and the other gum. Maybe they could split it? Ya know, so they have only half a crap- load of each.
KiddNYC1O 22
Shit happens when you party hard.
kimg0885 23
What kind of sausages were they? Like the breakfast Farmer John type?or like hotdog sausages? That kinda makes a difference just cuz the breakfast one is usually cheaper? I guess what I'm getting to is I'm just curious how much sausage you can stuff in 3 bags? What was your total? I saw this show called extreme couponing you should watch it. Next time you can get all your sausage for FREE!!!!!!!
kiraleann 16
Most grocery stores won't let you return food, particularly not perishable food. But maybe you'll think about this next time you drink so that you can cut yourself off at a reasonable point to avoid a similar situation.
monstersocks 5
that would suck if you are a vegetarian. lol i would try selling them like others are suggesting. best of luck.
wubbazugg 5
With a name like that, you deserve all the crap you bring on yourself.
briel1995 11
You don't have money to waste on food, but you have money to waste on getting drunk?
MINETURTLExD 0
Drunken Epic Mealtime perhaps? Hmmmm?;)
spottyblanket 8
You moan about rent but you had enough to drink yourself into a state where you had no idea what you were doing, anything could have happend to you. Why get yourself into that state in the first place? It isn't cool or anything, it is childish.
Sanch101 7
Of course he would not refund you. He has no idea how you stored them and if he sold them on when improperly stored resulting in illness he would be liable for selling the product. Also do not get so drunk you spend your rent on sausage.