Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man. I gave him my sandwich, since he needed it more than me. Seconds later, he was attacked by a flock of birds. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
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Top comments
ezrocks4u 29
Meanwhile, an elderly woman with a bag full of bread and geese shaped voodoo dolls was sitting in her car waiting for you to leave her favorite park bench.
chirstinap325 23
You were so trusting, why? Geese don't even need to be provoked they really are winged assholes.
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Comments (31)
species4872 20
The one on the grassy knoll spotted for them.
Catdragon 40
I just did this in my park. They left me alone and I left them alone
manofmerr 27
Maybe thats because they're careful around cat/dragon chimeras. You can not only stare at them with the kind of contempt that only a cat can muster, but you can also char broil them if they try to mess with you.
ginya 10
More story please?
tbo13 7
I goose you should have moved.
GhostFox 34
Water fowl tend to be rather nasty tempered, be they ducks, geese, swans, etc.
GhostFox 34
I had to rewrite this comment three time to avoid punning. Just for the record.
aggoden_bed 9
Looks like you geesed wrong
tigeresscrazy 12
Not all geese an ducks are ass holes I got very close to a mother duck with baby's so I could take pictures all the mom did was walk away I've also gotten close to Canada geese again to take pictures an never got attached though from the sound of the other comments I think I just got lucky
gamermonster 34
I actually come close enough to a goose to pet it. Didn't get chomped, so it's not always luck. :p
snakekiller1x95 15
They may be assholes but they are delicious af
NeneJPhilly 8
Geese ARE assholes. So are ducks, swans & seagulls. Next time just leave before they even get started.