Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter told me I was blocking her view of her puppy. She said, "Dad, your boobs are too long!" FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Kids call it like they see it. If you want someone to lie to you, ask an adult.
hXcsoccerplaya 0
well you are buddy. hit the gym.
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Comments (84)
mjew 7
No, you just have large boobies
stevenmx86 8
Kids don't lie.. Get off of your ass once in a while...
cowgurljess101 0
Its cute. Lol dont worry tho. Kids dont know that sometimes what they think they say Are nice and everyhthing even tho they hurt u sometimes. Dont take it as an insult.
ImTheAlpha 30
Why is everyone saying "son" when it clearly says "SHE turned to me"?
MsAdeeee 4
Could be worse. My 7 year old told me I will never have a boyfriend & I will in fact die alone with 20 cats.
Juniper123 7
19000th "like"
Zannanana 18
She didn't call you fat. You interpreted that. She actually likes them as pillows
CursedOne 13
Don't worry about it, when I was a kid I asked my dad if he was pregnant.