Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter told me I was blocking her view of her puppy. She said, "Dad, your boobs are too long!" FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Kids call it like they see it. If you want someone to lie to you, ask an adult.
hXcsoccerplaya 0
well you are buddy. hit the gym.
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Comments (84)
blazingman311 1
I wish my boobies were good pillows.
delfoxio 0
YDI for being a tubbolard
Fentown_fml 4
Not an FML, cute kid. :)
telfie 0
YDI for having manboobs.
ColdGold 6
That's sweet. They probably are nice to lay her head on.
lemonstars11 0
maybe you should be fat enough to have man breasts...
rachhorrors 0
oh well i feel sorry for you anyways
sammyakasamantha 0
omg thats so not a fml thats cute when i was little i would say silly syuff to my dad he would just laugh cuz i was little and i guess he thought it was cute
147somershire 0
hey there. now i obviously don't know if you are fat or not. kids can say very silly things. however, for both you and your kid i'd like to suggest losing weight if you are in fact overweight. there are many reasons as to how this could benefit you and your family. they are: 1. be heathy! losing weight would ultimately make you healthier (obviously) and yes, happier due to the release of endorfins through excersize, as well as a sense of accomplishment 2. time with your son! losing weight would lower your risk for common diseases related to obesity such as heart disease. therefore, you'd be benefitting your son (who it sounds like loves u very much) because you would live longer and he'd get to have you longer. 3. set an example! recognizing your weight problem will show your son that it's important to be healthy. and also, that you're willing to take on difficult tasks (losing weight can be incredibly difficult or incredibly simple) for the better good. 4. help others! by making healthier choices in your life, hopefully, and i urge you to do so, you will convince your family to make healthy choices too. weight can certainly be hereditary. but also it definitely does not hurt to eat more fruits and veggies and get more excersize. educate yourself and your family. it won't hurt to do so i guarantee it. make healthy choices into healthy habits. good luck!
Illinois_89 0
Unless you have muscular moobs!