Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 5 year-old daughter saw me getting ready to sit down in a fold-out camp chair, and told me, with a big smile on her face, "Daddy, you're too fat to sit in that chair. You'll break it with your big butt." Out of the mouths of babes, I guess. FML
Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter told me I was blocking her view of her puppy. She said, "Dad, your boobs are too long!" FML
Today, I was hanging out at a friend's house. Her adorable 5 year-old sister came up, gave me a hug, and said, "You're fat. When are you going home?" FML
Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML
Today, I got out of the shower and my 3 year old sister comes into the bathroom and says "I want big boobies like yours when I grow up." And from the other room I hear my dad go "Sweetie, you've already got bigger boobs than your sister." FML
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML
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Top comments
FerrariCake 2
Kids call it like they see it. If you want someone to lie to you, ask an adult.
hXcsoccerplaya 0
well you are buddy. hit the gym.
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Comments (84)
boatkicker 5
My comment was deleted, and I'm not sure why..... You kid meant it as a compliment, and in a weird way it was sweet and adorable. It shouldnt be that much of a big deal for you, but if it is I'm sure you can find some sort of exercise or diet or something that'll work for you.
Ketsuhime 0
My brother said that to my ex-uncle who was 45 and had a sexual online relationship with a teenage girl. Ahhh, my life is interesting......
ugh_a_lug 7
boobies!! bow-chica-wah-wow. tingly feeling inside ;D lol.
bullfuckingshit 0
this is an fml?! really?! wow....
dcbog123 0
cut down on the fries?
ugh_a_lug 7
btw- its ok. things are a thousand times bigger to little kids. it doesnt necessarily mean your really fat. i remember in Kindergarten being absolutely terrified of kids 3rd grade and up. they seemed like the biggest people in the world! little kids perception isn't exactly on target. dont worry about it. (dont get your bra all tangled up about it. - sorry had to add that! ;)
paintballjohn101 0
yo 28, AT LEAST HE HAS A DICK, UNLIKE U, I BET U PLAY WITH YOU MANCUNT EVERY DAY IN BED BITCH!!!
TallyAttack 0
Wooooow. Thats just sad. Leave it to a little kid to tell you the truth. Looks like you need to lay off the twinkies fatty.
42billybob 5
if you're fat you're fat. are specific people supposed to lie to you? figure out what your answer to that is, and why not lose some weight while you're at it.
love15_fml 8
he was saying it like it was a good thing, he wasn't trying to be mean YDI for thinking he'd have a complete social filter at 5
NorfolkDude 2
Kids make fun of fat people all the time. It isn't learned. It's because they're "different" and children love picking on "different." If you have a fat kid, typically they'll even make fun of other fat kids until they're called out. So yeah, kids know fat and when they see it, they're gonna call it out and learn from other kids different words to call them like man-boobies.