Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, my parents posted nasty comments about each other on Facebook. I think they might secretly be 12 year-olds. FML
Today, I found out that my mom uses my Facebook account more than I do. FML
Today, my dad saw my cleared internet history and said, "You do know we can still track your history with your IP address, right?" I don’t ever look at porn or anything like that. I just don’t want other people knowing all my business all the time. FML
Today, I got on Facebook and realized the only two friend requests I've had in 2 months are both from my parents. FML
Today, I was grounded for allegedly lying to my parents about being at my friend's house, in her outdoor hot tub. Apparently, my parents couldn't find me on Google Earth. I can't convince them that it's not actually a live feed. FML
Today, I found out why my parents forgot my birthday. Facebook didn't remind them. FML
Today, I found a picture on my phone of me and my best friend that I didn't take. Turns out my dad did, from behind, and it got onto my Google photo backup, which means that he was logged in to my Gmail from his phone when he did it. And my family wonders why I don't trust them. FML
Today, I found out why I haven't been getting my bank statements for the past couple of months. My parents have been hiding them from me, because they've been stealing from it. FML
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Top comments
sabrinaacrow 26
Paranoid parents are the worst
Voij 16
Can somewhat understand the fear of your parents... I mean, if you were up to no good, then you soon might start making trouble in their neighbourhood.
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Comments (66)
xXNerrrdXx 16
Dumb it OP, my fb is worse and yet my parents want me to close it cause they think it will lead me to no good, so yea just dumb them :p
Han1156 23
Are you trying to spell dump? Because that would make a tad more sense. But you can't really dump your parents.
Vidrill 22
You should randomly add the edgiest people you can find and then have extreme online conversations with them. Take it up a notch!
Ultimate_No 7
Make a twitter. Parents haven't caught on to that yet.
Markus12 8
Just explain to your parents that you're s loser. I'm sure they'll understand...!
imyy 20
You may be innocent, but lonely and friendless is no way to go through life. Make some real friends that have stuff in common with you...just try it :-)
Enslaved 38
Are you a meteorologist?
Ambiguous404 6
I don't know weather it is appropriate to laugh or not.
Dave_Davington 34
I say it's best to look at the sunny side of things. Sure, there are dark clouds of parental paranoia on the horizon, but at least they found no reason to raise a storm.
pedinhuh 23
Gotta love paranoid parents with Facebook...
challan 19
OP... Private message me, and I'll give you my Facebook link! I'll be your friend. keep your chin up.
lisslyi 19
You're so kind! :)
Careycaryn1997 17
Your parents could be scared that you're doing no good and you getting to fight on Facebook. They could be scared that you are sexting someone or something like that! They are trying to protect you but sometimes not good because you're just do more trouble. What are you doing on Facebook?